Online dating and romance scams

This is the Tom P. Blake "Finding Love after 50" and "Finding Love after 60" newsletter for Friday, July 3, 2015.

Online dating: Success stories and romance scams

My life partner Greta and I were in Costco this week. As we were leaving the store, an older gentleman walked up and asked if I was Tom Blake. He said he had been reading my newspaper articles for years and wanted to know if I'd be willing to give a speech to a retired men's club he belongs to.

"On what topic?" I asked.

"Retirement, and perhaps some dating tips for older guys."

I said I'd be happy to and gave him my business card.

And then he said, "I'm 77 and met my girlfriend on Match.com last year. She lives about an hour away; we see each other several times per week. It is quite an interesting story."

I asked him to email me the details and perhaps I could do a story about them. I like to hear good news stories regarding how older people met because meeting a mate later in life can be difficult. I particularly like hearing about older people who meet via the Internet. When I get his story, I will share it with you.

When I got home, there was an email from Barbara Sluppick, a woman I've known for years, who heads up an organization called Romance Scams.org. She has dedicated more than a decade trying to warn people about the dangers of romance scams.

Romance Scams.org website home page statistics:

Membership as of March 15, 2015: 20,689

Total membership since June 6, 2005: 59,000+

Scammers reported as of May, 2013: 5,529

Scammer photographs submitted as of May, 2013: 10,502

Money Loss reported as of May, 2013: $25,892,000 by 1,813 people

Barbara was excited because she is quoted in a very detailed, heart-wrenching story in the latest AARP magazine about a widow who lost $300,000, her retirement savings, to a scammer. I strongly encourage all Champs to take the time to read this story. We've got to protect our Champs from getting scammed (link below).

So, today we have the good news and bad news sides of Internet dating. My intention is not to make our Champs so leery of using the Internet for dating that they stop using it. After all, there are success stories we keep hearing about. It can be a helpful tool for meeting potential mates. But, I want you to be so educated about it that you will never fall victim to scammers and people who have bad intentions.

That being said, I recommend people who plan to date online or are dating online to also read a post on our Finding Love after 50 Facebook page by Champ Patricia Klages Thomas regarding what she has learned about online dating. She posted it late Tuesday and you can find it there if you are a member of our Facebook group. There is a lot of common sense in her post.

Informational links from today's newsletter:

www.RomanceScams.org   (remember, it is .org and not .com)

AARP article about woman who lost $300,000

http://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2015/online-dating-scam.html

Finding Love after 50 Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/48063349638/

Enjoy your July 4th week-end. Be safe.

Part 2 -Solo travel and Facebook update

A. More about women traveling alone

My sister Pam in San Diego, who often travels alone, sent the names of two books that are helpful for women traveling alone, which both can be found on Amazon.com:

• "A Woman Alone: Travel Tales from Around the Globe" (stories by different authors)

 

• "Nothing to Declare" by Mary Morris

B. Facebook group update

Our closed Facebook group - Finding Love After 50 is up to 98 members and there are now 12 men. There are many sage comments from the members. Heck, I am even learning from what is being posted.

For example, look at Gordon Grimm's comments about marriage later in life on July 1. I agree with him.

And give a big shout out to Larry Coats, the widower from West Texas who so graciously shared his story with us three weeks ago. And now look at him, he's on our Finding Love After 50 Facebook page with a nice photo.

Remember, you must request to join the group and I will approve your request.

Making friends via our Facebook Finding Love after 50 group

Making friends via our  Finding Love after 50 Facebook page

 

by Tom P. Blake

Two weeks ago, we re-activated a Facebook Finding Love After 50 group.

When I asked Champs if they preferred an open, closed, or private group, most voted for closed, where people could see the page, but not read member posts unless they joined the group. To join, I have to approve the member requests. In this way, we improve our chances of keeping people who don't belong out of the group. As of yesterday, we are up to 63 members, six were men.

One woman initially thought if we changed the name of our group to "Finding Love after 50 & 60," more men over age 60 might sign up. But then she changed her mind.

She said, "I now realize that the members are of all different ages and my concern was not valid. I can't thank you enough for reopening the "Finding Love After 50" FB website. Because of this I've been given the opportunity of meeting and getting to know some wonderful people with the same commonality as me which would not have happened otherwise!"

Even though only a few men have joined the group, their posts reflect intelligence and caring. We all can learn from them and the experiences they've had in their lives.

This week, George, from Traverse City, Michigan, posted, "If anyone is considering going on-line or is having very little response to their postings, they should take a hard look at their profile and what it says or does not say. No or little response usually means it is not working.

"In my professional life I worked as an employment specialist and during that time, I worked with hundreds of clients to develop more than 3500 resumes/cover letters, letters of applications, vitas, scholarship application letters and much more.

"I was fortunate to have many hours of training from innovative and talented writers. All emphasized that the sole purpose of an application, or in our case a profile, was to get the reader to respond in a positive manner. No response or rejection indicates your profile is not working because that is the only thing the reader sees about you.

"Once you put your information in your profile, it is there to market or sell who you are and what you are looking for. Make it high-quality, fun, and interesting. Is that not what we are all looking for in a prospective companion or partner?

"The best of responses I have read always leave me with a smile on my face, comfort in responding, and reasonable confidence that the person is genuine, intelligent, and sincere.

"It may seem intrusive to some, but I also researched people that responded. It is amazing what you can find about a person in this modern digital age. Google your own name and city and see what is out there. Also be careful it is the person you are looking for and not another with the same name.

"More times than not, it is good information. After searching my name I see things going back 10 years and activities I was involved in at the college I work for, plus some newspaper articles that mentioned me including family deaths and births. If you are concerned about anyone looking at your information on line…use an alias.

"On-line dating can be very good if you do it effectively and safely. One more thing from this guy; be honest and don’t put your H.S. graduation picture on your profile or your pet's picture. LOL."

We have another man, Art, from Florida, in our Facebook group. He is in a relationship, but has also shared valuable information about how he finally found the woman who is a perfect match for him.

So, even though we'd like to have more guys participate--and we will as time goes on--the ones we have are valuable contributors. Our group is not a dating group, but a friend-finding group. I am going to mention it in my newspaper columns so that should give us a membership boost.

And while we are speaking of single men, a quick update on Larry, the widower from Texas. I am very proud of him. He has established friendships with a few of our Champs, and is getting away from the ranch some and meeting new people. He is on his way to opening up his life.

Part 2 - A word of caution about online dating

In his last paragraph above, George reminded us to be safe in our online dating. He is right. A few months ago I received an email from a public relations firm representing a company called North Star Integrity, that does background searches. The press release quoted the FBI.

"The FBI claims that 'the most common targets (of scammers) are women over 40, who are divorced, widowed, and/or disabled, but every age group and demographic is at risk.

And then the Founder and CEO of North Star Integrity, Stephen Dorr, said, "Online dating fraud is a very real threat and can happen to anyone. The sheer number of scammers has risen dramatically over the past few years. Some may lead their victim on for months or even years to build trust, or they may strike immediately. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to determine who you can and cannot trust."

 

I only mention this about online dating as a reminder to be careful. That doesn't mean you avoid online dating, just be careful.

When you think about it, our Finding Love After 50 Facebook group is a heck of a lot safer than the big online dating companies. We all will be watching each other's backs and having fun sharing stories with each other.

Widower dating: Responses to West Texas Widower Post

Widower dating: Responses to West Texas Widower Post

 

On Life and Love After 50 Newsletter

 

by Tom P. Blake

Rarely have I received as many comments as I did from last week's newsletter about Larry, 63, the widower of four months, who lives in a remote area of West Texas. Larry stated in last week's post that he doesn't want to be alone for the rest of his life. I asked Champs to send messages for Larry and you did, close to 40 of you.

Larry wrote, "I am still overwhelmed at the responses to my situation; I did not think that my problem was much different from anyone else's. I was expecting a few reactions, not 20+."

Even I have learned from Larry and from so many of the sage comments from Champs. There has been so much warmth and wisdom shared that I hope I can do it some justice today. We don't have room to include what everybody wrote so I've picked a few to feature. But they were all good. Many who contributed are widowed, both men and women.

Karla said, "I think four months is way too soon to start dating. Larry is likely still grieving, and his ranch is probably full of memorabilia, which is normal. However, that would probably be a turn-off for any prospective new relationship.

"Personally, I won't date a man who hasn't been widowed for at least a year and probably two years. I say that because I've dated recent widowers, and all they've talked about are their deceased wives and their lives together.

"I question dating online so soon. But, this week, I've seen ads for an online cowboy dating site. Just Google 'cowboy dating sites.' There are several."

Manu said, "Similar to Larry I explored my interests-golfing was not for me but I did try-and am now involved in singing with a city-wide gospel choir and bee keeping. Finding out who YOU are is always first before you explore sharing your life."

Virginia, from California, said, "Larry would be well advised to move forward towards the goals you so clearly stated, as soon as his mourning process will allow him. 

"Although he feels a sense of loss and wants to replace his mate, he is now (and will be for a year or longer), in a very vulnerable state of mind. Four months is a short time.

Kit, Wisconsin, agreed with Virginia, "The problem is he is a prime suspect to be taken advantage of; I wish him luck but he is very vulnerable."

Karen, a widow from Michigan, wrote, "Two years ago, my 65-year-old husband died and I came to the same realization as Larry. Because I am used to doing research in my job, I took myself on as a client and researched the heck out of the early years of widowhood. That in itself made it easier (to some degree) to go on. It is helpful to know one is grieving 'normally,' even though one's world is anything but normal.

"Loneliness isn't a good reason to begin dating. Begin dating because you meet someone you want to get to know better, not because you are lonely.

"Many men think they are ready around the 3-4 month timeframe. They try it out and find out it is too soon. You've got to do the hard 'work' of grieving before you can go forward in a happy new life. I met a wonderful man around the one year mark.

"Larry says he is fit. To meet new people, he might try a gym or community center with physical fitness opportunities or take part in some 5k or 10k walks or runs. Also volunteer at those events to help register people on race day or hand out fruit (or water). That is how I met some wonderful men."

"Larry, please know there is a good life waiting for you."

Art, Florida, emailed, "I was widowed in October, 2007, at 69, after a 29-year marriage. It took about four months to begin looking at the Internet dating sights. I am fortunate I live in a very busy area in South Florida. I joined Plenty of Fish and OKCupid.

"For the next few years, I met and dated at least 40 women through the Internet dating sites. In June, 2013, I met Joanie on POF. Since that first date, we have taken five cruises. I bought us each an infinity ring last year, and have been invited to a number of her family holiday events, and consider her to be my forever sweetheart and the queen of my heart.

"My advice to Larry: never give up, and use some creative thinking to find someone to explore the rest of your life with."

Cheri said, "A fellow who served his country and now a volunteer fire fighter sounds to be a person of interest. Put me on the list of writers to Larry."

There were many more great responses; we just didn't have room for them all.

More about Larry

I've gotten to know Larry over the last week as we've corresponded often. He explained why he's so protective of the ranch. His grandsons will be the eighth generation to hold the land. "Almost every last one of them is buried on the ranch. It isn't the land, it's the heritage," he said.

Larry said so many women asked to see a photo that he mustered one up and gave me permission to include it as well.

 

Larry - widower - West Texas

                                            

But what Larry wrote to me on Wednesday is what really grabbed me. This man is a true soldier with a big heart: "Most of my adult life was spent as a soldier; I still am a soldier in the strictest sense. I was trained to come to grips with the possibility that I might die as a soldier and die in a tough way in a faraway place. That is what goes with the territory.

"You just accept that it can happen, you put on your game face and go. And soldiers know that their buddies on their left and right may die as well.

"But nothing prepared me for the death of my best friend and the love of my life. I'm having some problems now in finishing this, so all I can say is thanks to all of you for your help. I just hope that I deserve it and maybe can return it myself someday."

I am proud of all of our Champs.

 

For more articles, visit www.FindingLoveAfter60.com

 

 

Widower from West Texas wants to restart his life

"On Life and Love After 60" newsletter

by: Tom P. Blake

Widower from West Texas wants to restart his life

I received an interesting email from a 63-year-old widower this week. He would like to meet a nice woman. I am sharing his story and would like Champs to respond to his situation. Who knows? There might be a potential candidate within our group who would enjoy exchanging information with him.

Larry wrote, “I am still trying to restart my life; my wife of 40 years died of lung cancer in early February. I’m coming to terms with my new reality, slowly, and have decided that living alone for x number of years is not for me.

“My problem is that I live in a very small town in a rural area of West Texas, and consequently, my prospects here (of meeting someone) are virtually nonexistent.

“Moreover, I can’t move as I am doing my best to preserve my daughter’s inheritance, including a ranch, house, etc. I’ve looked at online dating/matching sites and have been less than impressed with the way they operate. I have told some close friends of my intention to get back into dating and hope they may eventually be able to help.

“As it stands now, I honestly don’t see any practical way of meeting someone who would be remotely interesting (Tom’s words: “or who would be interested in such a remote environment).”

“I am just wondering if I’ve overlooked other options, angles, etc. I am 63, but feel 43, am a retired US Army officer, a volunteer firefighter, have one adult, married daughter. Would appreciate your advice as I feel like I have hit a wall.”

Tom’s response: Larry, let’s look at the positives in your situation:

- First, you were a good husband who stood by your wife for 40 years. Be proud of that and realize she would want you to be happy so pursue being happy with her blessing.

-At 63, you are young and since you feel like 43, you are likely in great physical shape. An attribute that single women appreciate.

-As a retired Army officer, you likely have a pension and you own property so you likely are financially ok. That is another plus.

-And most important, you realize you don’t want to spend your remaining years by yourself. Your grief is lifting a bit. As Gloria Estefan sang after her tour bus crashed, “Coming out of the dark.”

So, you have a lot going for you.

But, you are shackled by your own thinking. That is understandable with what you have gone through; after all, your wife has only been gone for four months. But you can change your thinking and I feel you are taking the first steps to do that.

Yes, it will be very difficult to find a woman under the circumstances you described because there aren’t many who live near you. And, if you did find someone, would you be interested in her? And would she be willing to live so remotely? And since you don’t want to use Internet dating, you are going to have to go where the women are.

So, rethink using the Internet for dating. Dab in it, give it a try, and see for yourself. Maybe start with Match.com. Don’t expect miracles.

Next, preserving your daughter’s inheritance. Do not sacrifice your chance at being happy by remaining a hermit or recluse. That is ridiculous. Work something out with her. Let her and her family take over the ranch now, and you get away and travel or go live in a city like Dallas or Houston. Have an agreement that you can always come home and stay for a while. Maybe they can pay you a stipend or work out some other arrangement.

If she is not willing to do that, then she probably doesn’t want the ranch after all, so consider renting or selling it so you are not shackled by having to stay there just for her.

The most important thing you can do is to get away from the ranch, take some trips, take a cruise, go visit some old Army buddies, and expand your life. By using the Internet for dating, you might meet a woman in another city or state and you could go visit her. I bet Joanne from Albuquerque, whom we wrote about last week, would be willing to show you around her city.

Your fate now is in your hands. Make it a priority to get away. I imagine there will be some women Champs who would enjoy corresponding with you. If they email me, I will forward their emails to you. Please keep us informed. Another option for Larry is to read my ebook, Widower Dating: Gold mine or Mine Field. The book can be found on smashwords.com, or in the bookstore at the link on the Finding Love After 60 website.

Link to Finding love after 60 website

People are similar wherever you go

People are similar wherever you go

"On Life and Love After 50" Newsletter

by Thomas P. Blake

Each Friday, I publish the On Life and Love After 50 Newsletter by email. I call my subscribers Champs, because that is what they are. Our Champs live across the USA and Canada, and in many foreign countries. Their living situations vary greatly. Some live in the same cities in which they grew up. Others, like Joanne, have lived in many different states.

In early April, 2015, before my partner Greta and I left on our trip to Europe, Joanne updated me about her living situation. She said, “I have lived all over the country and have enjoyed every minute. Right now, I am in Albuquerque and I like it here. I’m not considering moving again. I have met so many people and learned so much from them it has been a great experience.”

I responded to Joanne by asking: “How did you come to choose Albuquerque? From where before that? Is making friends there difficult?”

Joanne said, “I had never lived in New Mexico. I lived in Georgia, California, Texas, Nevada (Las Vegas), Hawaii, Arkansas, Michigan, North Carolina, Florida, and there may be a few more.

“Five years ago, a friend asked me if I wanted to move back to Georgia. Something was pushing me in that direction. When I got there, after a few months, I found out he had cancer. He has been a great friend and I was so glad I was there. It gave me a lot of time to spend with him before he passed away.

“On my way to Georgia from Las Vegas (he used to ‘talk’ me across the country), I told him I had never lived in New Mexico and thought I should at some point. I was born and raised in Michigan but never liked it.

“When I found this apartment in Albuquerque, I ‘jumped’ on it. I love it here and moved about eight weeks ago. (Now, it has been 16 weeks). I’m a ‘people person’ and never have much trouble meeting people. Everyone I have met so far seems nice, and, of course, I always have my radar up and working."

Joanne continued: People are the same everywhere you go. They have different faces and names but still the same traits. I keep saying if whatever you are looking for isn’t in Albuquerque, you probably don’t need it! At 70 now and thinking I should probably sit still. I’m sure you’ve noticed this too, but the farther west you go, the less uptight people are. I love the diversity in the people here too. Also, the Native American culture fascinates me and there is a lot of that here.”

I know of another woman Champ who also moved to Albuquerque; perhaps she and Joanne will get together sometime.

In reading Joanne’s email, I couldn’t help but think of the Johnny Cash song, “I’ve been everywhere.” In the song, Johnny rattles off the places he’s been including Albuquerque. That could be Joanne’s theme song.

(I traveled with Johnny Cash often in the 1970s when he did radio commercials for Victoria Station, the restaurant chain, for whom I was marketing director. For more information on Tom's association with Johnny, see the link at the end of this article)

But one thing Joanne said in her email really struck a chord with Greta and me: “People are the same everywhere you go.”

We have met many different people on our trip. Here we are in Germany, a country that our country was at war with some 70+ years ago. And yet, the people here, and in Hungary, and in Austria, where we’ve also been on this trip, are very similar to us. They want peace, love and harmony in the world.

Greta and I believe that as we travel these foreign lands, we can make a very small contribution to world harmony by being friendly, considerate, respectful and interested in what the local people have to say. We are tiny diplomats of peace in the world.

Two recent examples: On Sunday, in the pouring rain, we popped into a coffee shop in Bamberg, Germany, to escape the cold and wet. A young waitress, about 20 years old, was so excited when she found out that we were from California, she said, “Oh, I can’t believe this,” and was so friendly to us (the coffee shop was filled with young students) that we gave her our email address in case she wants to visit.

On Tuesday, Greta and I were walking across the Main Bridge in Wurzburg, Germany. Near the middle of the river, we sat on a concrete bench to enjoy the beauty around us--a large castle with vineyards growing on steep hills up to the castle, beautiful churches, river barges passing below on the river, stately Roman statues on the bridge--when we noticed near us a family--grandpa, grandma, son and granddaughter taking a bottle of Wurzburg-labeled champagne and crystal goblets out of their shopping bag. The son popped the cork.

We photographed them toasting on the bridge. They saw us. The older gentlemen asked me in German to take a picture with their camera. He started explaining in German what the occasion was. Then he asked where we were from. California. With that, he switched to broken English, very broken, and excitedly told us about his visit to the American west some 10 years before. His son came over and translated for us.

The older couple’s daughter was in Italy. It was her birthday. The man showed me the gift and card wrapped in bright yellow paper he had for her.

They had told her they would be toasting to her at that time on that bridge. They wanted a picture with us. It was a small-ambassador moment, very heartwarming; borders, war memories and language barriers were replaced with friendships and hand shaking.

The message today was inspired by Joanne’s email. Wherever we travel in the world, wherever we live, for the most part people are the same--they want love and harmony and peace in the world.

Enjoy more stories on www.findingloveafter60.com

To read about Tom's friendship with Johnny Cash, visit this website:

                                       www.VicSta.com

 

                                                 

     Tom's book: Prime Rib & Boxcars. Whatever Happened to Victoria Station?

                            Book cover: Tom and Johnny Cash in 1976

 

To read Tom's travel columns, go to this website: www.TravelAfter55.com

 

 

At home in Graz, Austria

At home in Graz, Austria

                                              Graz - River Mur and Kloister

My partner Greta and I are living in a 500-year-old building in Graz, Austria. We will be here for about a month.  From the time we left our Dana Point, California, home Monday, it took us 41 hours to get here. We do not recommend that long of an uninterrupted trip for seniors. A seven-hour layover in the Madrid Airport was a bear. It really wore us out.

The home is owned by a couple who met in the Department of Motor Vehicles in Fresno, California, four years ago. Christian is Austrian. His wife, Jai, is an American citizen who was born along the Laos/Thailand border.

In 2011, Jai was living in Fresno. Her purse had been stolen so she was at the DMV to get a replacement driver’s license. Christian, a building contractor, was in Fresno on business and needed a commercial driver’s license. They were in line next to each other. They had just enough time to tell each other a little about their backgrounds.

Then, Jai was summoned to the payment window. Christian was called to the adjacent window. As she was leaving he asked if she’d wait for him outside. Once there, he asked for her phone number and they started dating. Soon, however, he had to return to Austria. The odds of a relationship were against them. Speaking of a long distance relationship, 6,000 miles+ is pretty darn far.

They corresponded. He wanted her to visit Austria. Since arriving in the United States as a young child, she had never been out of the country. She didn’t even own a passport. Due to some paperwork issues, getting a passport took her months. Christian didn’t know for sure, but he thought she might be dragging her feet and probably didn’t really want to visit. One day he emailed, “I really would love for you to visit.” She shocked him by replying, “Send me a ticket.”

She spent three weeks visiting Christian in Graz.

In 2012, they married. Jai and her daughter, Maddie, packed their things and moved to Graz. Jai said over dinner this past Wednesday night, “At first, it was hard, I didn’t speak German. But now, I love living here.” Maddie now has a baby brother named James.

How did Greta and I meet them and why are we living in their home? There is a website called Home Exchange.com. On that website, people can trade their home/apartment/ranch--where ever they live--for a short period of time with people who own living accommodations as well. People from different countries often exchange their homes.

A trade or exchange can be at the same time--what’s called a simultaneous exchange, or at different times--a non-simultaneous exchange. In December, 2014, Christian, Jai, Maddie and James stayed in Greta’s San Clemente home for the holidays. And now, we are staying at their home in Graz. While we are here, they are living at Christian’s father’s farm outside of town. We have become very good friends.

We have had one full day in what is known as the inner city of Graz. If that day was any indication, we are going to cherish our days here. Graz is the second largest city in Austria, after Vienna, and has a population of 350,000 people. There are four universities here so there are lots of young people.

There are an estimated 200-250 restaurants and outdoor cafes within a quarter mile of us. Hot dog stands and gelato shops are everywhere.  The city’s central tram station is 100 yards away. The main train station is less than a half mile away. There is no need to rent a car or drive anywhere.

Last night, we enjoyed a thin-crust pizza topped with prosciutto and a salad, 25 yards from our apartment. A tasty bottle of Austrian wine cost us less than $3.00 at the grocery store directly below us.

                                    View from our outdoor dinner table

Jai has decorated their home with proverbs and little sayings in every room. We like this one the best:

                                          

Posted on the wall of their living room

Retirement: Write, Stand up Paddle Board, travel- a new life chapter begins

Write, paddle board and travel: a new life chapter begins on Monday

As I’ve mentioned, I retired January 30, after owning and operating Tutor and Spunky’s Deli in Dana Point for 26 years, a job that kept me very busy.

People ask, “Now that you’ve sold the deli, won’t you get bored? What will you do with all of your free time?”

If the first two months of retirement are an indication, boredom is the least of my concerns. I’ve been busier than a cranberry at Thanksgiving.

When a small business is sold, there are a myriad of things that must be done. Usually, the seller agrees to train the buyer for a period of time. In my case, I spent 120 hours working with the new owners. 

And then there were tax returns that had to be prepared and filed. The federal government requires that business financial records must kept for up to seven years. So, those records must be packed and stored in case the government asks for them in the future.

Some people who are already retired told me that I will wonder where the time goes. I fall into that group. No boredom yet.

Newly retired people are asked: “What will you do with your time?” My answer is pretty simple: Write, Stand Up Paddle Boarding, and Travel.

As far as writing, I plan to continue with this complimentary Life and Love after 50 newsletter and my newspaper columns as well. My first published article on love after 50 was published on July 4, 1994--almost 21 years ago--in a local Dana Point, California newspaper. The situation hasn’t changed much for older singles, other than Internet dating, which didn’t exist back then. The most-asked question I hear remains the same: “Where are the men?” 

This week, a Champ wrote, “I am retired and would love to meet an available, honest, adventurous man. Where is he? I am fun, smart, spiritual, good looking and healthy. I love my family, friends, animals, and ENJOY my life. I am so ready to meet him. I am 70 years young, please pass this message on.”

I replied, “I wish I had an easy answer for your question. Finding a good quality mate after 50, 60, 70, and beyond is difficult, for both men and women. But it does happen.

“I tell older singles that they need to get out and about and meet new friends. But where to go?

“One example, here in Orange County is on the last Thursday of each month, Tutor and Spunky's Deli, 34085 Pacific Coast Highway, Dana Point, 92629, hosts a Meet and Greet for singles 50+. Anywhere from 25 to 75 people attend, depending on the weather, what's going on in the world, and other things.

“You could attend and check that out. Making new women friends is essential and that is a good place to do it.

“Also, dating online is certainly a mixed bag; there are jerks and scammers out there. But, there are also nice people and that might be one of the tools you try. Just proceed with caution.

“Attend as many social events as possible. Go to them to enjoy and not expecting to meet a man. It sounds like you have great credentials. Get out there and show the world you are a confident and positive woman.”

Regarding stand up paddle boarding (SUP), one of the most important things for retired people is exercise. In anticipation of retirement, in October I decided to give paddle boarding a try. In Dana Point, where I live, we have a protected harbor that is home to more than 3,000 yachts and sail boats. Unless the wind kicks up, the water is quite calm and paddling is a pleasure.

Three times a week, at least, I launch from a place called Baby Beach. Sea lions and birds enrich the experience. And except for the board and the paddle, the sport is free. For people who don’t want to paddle, walking around our harbor is great exercise.

This week I was thinking I had become a pretty good paddler; I hadn’t fallen into the chilly waters in a couple of months, although it seemed others were faster than I. Then, an old-timer paddled by and said, “You’re dragging your leash (which is secured to your leg) in the water; it’s slowing you down.”

Yup, he was right. Adding to the drag was a large clump of seaweed. I placed the leash on top of my board and wow, I noticed a difference right away. In retirement, there is a lot to learn.

As far as travel, when I met my life partner Greta 17 years ago, one of the characteristics we had in common was a love of travel. True, when I owned the deli, we were able to get away on several trips. But, as those of you who own or owned a small business know, you aren’t totally free when you travel because you think about whether the business has enough money, or whether a refrigerator breaks down, or any number of possible problems.

Now, I won’t have to worry about deli issues. Our plan is to travel as much as we can as long as we are able to. Our first trip begins Monday. We are off to Austria and Central Europe for seven weeks, which concludes with a two-week river cruise from Budapest to Amsterdam. If I hear of any romance-after-50 stories on our travels, I will share them with you.

At the least, I will be posting details of the trip on my travel website blog. So, I will be mixing two of my retirement activities, writing and travel, while we’re gone.

As far as stand up paddle boarding, I doubt if that will be possible on the Danube or Rhine rivers. I guess we will be doing a lot of walking instead.

Here is a link to the website. On the home page, click on the travel blog tab. I hope you will follow us and email your comments. www.TravelAfter55.com.