Friday, August 16, 2013

Getting started with this blog

Welcome to the new Finding Love After 60 website. This is the sister site to Finding Love After 50, but written with more of a concern for singles in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and yes, even 90s. I would like you to post your comments here and we can have an open discussion forum.

So, feel free to be among the first people to post a response to this opening blog post. I'd like to hear what type of articles you'd like posted on the website, that is, what topics: Marriage, divorce, widow and widower related articles, where are the men, who pays, living arrangements--that type of thing.

Thanks for helping me get this started.



  1. Dear Tom,
    One thing I have noticed is that, unlike the decade from 40 to 50, when there wasn't much difference overall to see when first meeting others, People saw a woman, a person, first upon meeting me. Not seeing age first in looks, physical strength, style, etc. of me at 50 than there was at 40.
    But the day I turned 60, well! wow, that decade change was larger. It made me understand some of the axioms, t-shirts, and columns I had read over time, but not having arrived there yet, had not understood. We age so much quicker, (that over the hill and picking up speed for example) and the changes are more immediately seen.
    Now, when someone looks at me, they don't say, as they did for that decade prior , "oh, a nice looking woman". They look and see age FIRST, so it is, "oh, what a nice looking woman for her age".
    This really bothers me as it is new. And I am having a problem with others seeing age first, person second. Almost as though, in the dating scene in particular, one has a strike against them when it is their turn at bat, (as when going to your mix and meet type event). It becomes the first prejudice one must overcome to then get to the human, woman step. Then is that person interesting, intelligent, friendly, etc.
    Has anyone else expressed a thought in a similar vein? Worried at being taken for 'old' before being taken for woman? And I do realize this can go both ways.

    1. You bring up an excellent point, one worthy of a future column. Having reached 70, I know precisely what you are talking about. It is the foolish single who only is attracted to someone initially by looks.

      We are all going to age someday and the more important qualities such as character, kindness, thoughtfulness, caring, and stability--to name a few--are what will matter for happiness in a future relationship. Let's hope we get some more comments and I will tackle the issue in a future writing.

      Try not to let it bother you. Those guilty of only judging by looks will get their reality check sooner than later.

  2. Good Morning Tom:

    Just a note to let you know how much your articles are appreciated by so many Champs. I finally reached the wonderful age of 62. Thank God I look pretty decent for my age. You and Greta are my heroes. You give us Champs so much hope in the romantic arena. Yes, I am still searching for that very special man but am having a wonderful time dating also.

    In the meantime, have a fantastic weekend. I now am on my merry way after reading your blog about the widower wanting to bring a date to the family holiday events. Yikes! Definitely not a good idea. My goodness, it has only been six months. He and the family are still grieving. He is just trying to fill the gap left by his wife's passing. This is just too soon !

  3. Greetings Tom,

    As a 67 yr. old widower I am looking forward to your new column for the over sixty singles. I am just starting to think of dating again but am not very confident as so many men want slender to athletic and toned bodies and very attractive. While it is possible it is not the average almost 70 yr old woman.

    One subject I am curious about is, is it beneficial to marry at our age. I would lose my late husbands pension and my medical insurance is from his former employer. Just curious as to how others handle this situation.

    I am new to your news letters and just ordered one of your books. Enjoying them very much.

    1. Do not under any circumstances get married. Losing your late husband's pension and your medical insurance would be very, very foolish. There are many couples living together who have wonderful relationships without being married and they are not married for this very reason. Again, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT MARRY AND GIVE UP THOSE INCREDIBLE BENEFITS YOU HAVE.