Dating women who have horses

A couple of weeks ago, in early January, 2014, I received an email from Gail that puzzled me. She wrote, "I think your comments regarding dating women with horses are quite unfair. Those of us with horses enjoy male company as much as our horses. Your friend seemed to have really met a loser who took advantage of him. Please don't stereotype us (horsewomen) all together. If a guy offers to take part with us it's really a plus."

My initial reaction was, "What the hell is Gail talking about?" And then it slowly donned on me. Fifteen years ago, or so, I wrote a newspaper column titled, "Avoid Single Women Who Love Horses." It's buried somewhere deep within my Finding Love After 50 website. I decided to share that column with you. Remember, it was written 15 years ago. 

Avoid Single Women Who Love Horses

I've often recommended to older singles that before launching themselves back into the dating scene, they should make a list of the qualities they seek in a mate.

The list need not be long, just honest. Qualities might include: trustworthiness, kindness, respect, affection--traits like that.

We might even include qualities to avoid--a person who is selfish, argumentative, drinks too much or who has too much dating baggage.

My friend Bruce in Laguna Beach, Calif., suggests another quality men might want to avoid: Women who are into horses.

Whoa, you shout. What's that all about?

Bruce speaks from experience. He says, "I've been involved with two women who would rather spend time with and/or give more consideration to their horses than a prospective relationship."

He added that he had just met a third women who hangs out with horses; he immediately galloped away from her. I suggested that he may be looking for love in the wrong place-around the stables-and might be better off seeking women in bookstores or in the produce section of his local supermarket.

I asked him what the problem was. Bruce explained: "Because the elite of these women look EXTREMELY good in those tight riding pants (like the one in the Anthony Quinn, Kevin Costner movie 'Revenge,') many of us guys will tag along into our new job as groomer, poop-shoveler, horse-truck driver (sometimes at our own expense) and only the Great Spirit knows whatever else."

Bruce related an experience with a horse woman. "I assisted a voluptuous lovely in delivering her horse to Winchester/Rancho, California, for a week-end 'seminar' in hunting and jumping. When Saturday was over, she asked me to spend the night in her motel room because 'the drive home was too long.' Later, the wide brim of her hat knocked out one of my contact lenses while dancing at a cowboy bar."

And then, the plot back at the motel thickened: "Guess what she did when she emerged from the shower and sat on the bed wrapped in a towel?" I was all ears.

Bruce said, "She telephoned her husband."

I covered my mouth in shock as Bruce continued the story. "She told her husband where she was, that she'd be spending the night, and yes, that I was still with her. My expectations for the evening changed in a hurry. I muttered to myself, 'Why don't you just tell hubby what my name is, what hotel room we're in, etc.'"

Bruce added, "It turns out the marriage was an arranged one for her residency status. Nevertheless, her horse took priority over any guy."

Bruce capped off his reasons for avoiding women who love horses. "I knew a lady who was still making payments on a DEAD horse. Some would rather ride a horse under any scenario than be with a lively guy."

We all are saddled with dating baggage, in one form or another.

So guys, when making your list, you might add: "Avoid women with horses--whether they're single women or not."

That column was completely tongue-in-cheek. But oh my, did I get a lot of flak back then from the women who have their horses at stables in San Juan Capistrano, California. They even boycotted my column for a while.

I responded to Gail, (who even has the word horse in her email address): "I wrote that column 15 years ago; I'm surprised you even found it on the internet. But Gail, I've mellowed. I've softened my position regarding dating women who own horses.

Why? I own Tutor and Spunky's deli in Dana Point, California, and recently hired a woman who owns horses. She's lovely, and a very nice person. And while there are days when she has to leave the deli early to go feed her horses, I think men would enjoy dating her. So, I've changed my tune to this: men should not avoid dating women who own horses, but they should not get the wrong idea when the woman suggests they go have a roll in the hay.

It amazes me what people can dredge up on the Internet. Here is a link to http://www.FindingLoveAfter50.com.