Wednesday, February 5, 2014

More on dating people who love animals

More on dating people who love animals

I have never had a newsletter where more men than women responded until last week's column about dating women who have horses, although, some of the male responses were brief. As often happens with responses, they morph into other issues. Dogs and chemistry got dragged into responses from last week.

I believe that people who love animals generally have big, giving hearts.

Antoinette took issue with Bruce's tight pants remarks and rode him hard: "A comment on the man who dated horsewomen because of their tight pants. If a man wants to ogle over a woman instead of looking at her as a person he would want to get to know, then he can shovel the crap, because he's sending the message that he's crap and he's not looking at her character. 

"It's funny how 'respect' never comes up when people are searching for someone. It's always 'attraction' or chemistry,' and those don't last. It only presents an opening, but doesn't carry a relationship."
And now comments from men:

Curt, "Horses are first, second and third priority with women. A relationship is somewhere down the line."

Joel, "Many women I have met have sublimated their love into a dog or (yuck!) many dogs. The result is they have no room for a man in their head, bed or heart, but they THINK they do, so they move sequentially through temporary relationships.

"Like smokers who can't smell themselves, they are oblivious. They talk to and through their dogs. They sleep with one or more; the dog dominates their schedule and conversation. I get it. Dogs are more loyal than men and easier to deal with. When I see a profile with more than one dog picture, I click next."

Terry, the funny plumber, who rides elephants, not horses, with his Thai wife in Thailand and Burma said, "Your story brings new meaning to the question: "Do you want to horse around?"

Carmen, my buddy from high school, commented: "Dating women who own dogs is a more relevant topic. I've learned my lesson." (That sounds like another potential animal-related topic although he didn't elaborate).

Larry, "I have met two women online who trained horses. We never met because their schedules revolved around the horses. The schedules were typically seven days a week!"

Mark, Palm Springs, "I wish I were Mr. Ed!!!"

Marta and Bernie, married couple from Montreal, said, "This newsletter cracked us up. Bernie's former wife bought two horses without telling him, a $10,000 expenditure, not to mention the $1200 monthly fee for boarding the. She then went bankrupt without telling him, just leaving him legally responsible for the whole mess, paying for one dead horse and the bills for the live one, long after the marriage had ended.

"She cried nonstop for three months when the first horse died, prompting Bernie to say to her, 'You'd like me better if I had four legs."

Helen, Arizona, "Hilarious article re: horses and their women. How about women who love their dogs? I personally couldn't have a guy who didn't love dogs; horses would be a plus. It takes all kinds, eh?"

Suzon (proper spelling) pointed out that it's not just women who are tied up with their horses: "I live in a small rural community. I have a girlfriend who raises horses. After my husband passed away, she insisted I join a dating site. I came across several cowboys that interested me. My girlfriend said, 'Oh no, you don't want a cowboy. They talk more to their horses than the women in their lives.' I dated several, and she was dead on. They had little time for me, but all the time in the world for their horses."

Lisa, "I am a horse owner, and I have to tell you there are all kinds. The woman who was described is a HORSE-SHOW person. They devote most of their time to practicing, and then participating in competitions. Very time-consuming and expensive. If you're with one of these women, I'd compare it to being a golf or sports widow.

"Then there are gals like me: I trail ride. I love getting out into nature with my horse and a friend or two and enjoy the seasons and wild animals that riding in Griffith Park (Los Angeles) has to offer.

"I long to find a man to share this enjoyment with, but in the meantime, I have girlfriends that share my interest.

"If a man is not interested in horses, it's not a problem as long as he understands that I am responsible for my horse's well-being, which includes exercise. Sometimes it's better when two people have different interests because they can each enjoy their own activities and friends, and then they have something to talk about when they get together."

So that's it, Champs, enough horse chatter, it's time to leave the horses in the barn. I love all animals, including horses--they are magnificent animals. And I especially love dogs.

At issue here, however, is when meeting someone you'd like to date or have a relationship with, who is into his or her animals, can that person devote enough time to you and place you high enough on the priority list that you will be happy with the arrangement? 

That's a topic that needs to be discussed between two adults early-on to establish understanding and harmony as they ride off into the sunset. And that's the nuts, bolts, and oats of the story.  

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Tom, love your emails, they are honest, sometimes brutally so!
    I believe that folks can hide behind their children or animals when dating,
    True intimacy is hard to find due to so many who still fear it due to past hurts, etc but it is worthwhile.