In going through previous newsletters, I came upon this situation
regarding how children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren can affect a
relationship. I mention this because lately, I’ve been hearing stories on how
children are making life difficult for older singles wanting to have
relationships, and possibly remarry.
A woman who was raising her great granddaughter wanted to know why
men wouldn’t date her.
A Champ named John shed light on her
question: “I
was in a long-term relationship with a grandma. I had known her in high
school and met her years later at a class reunion after we were both
divorced. She lived three hours away, but we managed to see each other
every other weekend.
“The
attributes (compassion, caring and duty to others) that drew me to her
eventually killed the relationship because of her grandchildren.
“Her
son and daughter-in-law had four children over the period of seven
years. They were terrible parents. Out of compassion for the children, my
friend became more and more their parent. The daughter-in-law didn't work,
but my friend did and took much better care of the kids. She stopped there
almost every night after work and eventually three of them were with her every
weekend.
“I
didn't mind playing with the kids and helping to care for them, but eventually
I felt squeezed out of my friend's attention. I lost the motivation to
drive the 3 hours and eventually broke up with her. It hurt both of us.
“She was probably doing the right thing for the kids given the awful situation they were in, but it left no room for a relationship. If things had been reversed, I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same. If things had been different, we probably would be married today.
“We all make choices that have positive and negative consequences - like two sides of a coin. Her love and caring for her granddaughter will be rewarded, but unfortunately she will probably not find a man who wants a close relationship.”
“She was probably doing the right thing for the kids given the awful situation they were in, but it left no room for a relationship. If things had been reversed, I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same. If things had been different, we probably would be married today.
“We all make choices that have positive and negative consequences - like two sides of a coin. Her love and caring for her granddaughter will be rewarded, but unfortunately she will probably not find a man who wants a close relationship.”
Keep
this story in mind when mixing your offspring in with your relationship.
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