Adversity often results in a better life situation
Four lessons arise from today's story
Champ Glen worked for 30 years
in Santa Barbara County, in southern California, as a deputy sheriff for seven
years, and as a district attorney investigator for 23 years. The majority of
his time at the DA's office was spent in child support and parental child
abduction, with stints in the bad-check, domestic violence, and elder abuse
programs.
Glen said, "I loved my
career but was ready to retire and have a change of pace. My life was
turned upside down when my ex left approximately six months after I retired. I
was totally blindsided and never saw it coming."
I relate to Glen's story. I
was totally blindsided on Xmas Eve 1993 when my wife cleaned out the house,
took what she wanted, and filed for divorce three months later.
But, Glen picked up the
pieces. He tried on-line dating. He said, "I met Cheryl on-line July 21,
2010, through the dating website Chemistry.com. Both are 57.
Each of us was going through a
bad divorce at the time and thankfully, Cheryl's girlfriends gave her a
subscription to the Chemistry.com website. Otherwise, on her own, Cheryl
never would have tried on-line dating.
"Since meeting in the summer
of 2010, we continued to date long distance. I lived in Ventura, about an hour
west of Los Angeles, and Cheryl lived in Huntington Beach, 45 minutes south of
Los Angeles, in northern Orange County.
"In February, 2011, both of
us sold our homes and moved-in together in Huntington Beach. Over the next 3
1/2 years, we completely remodeled the inside and outside of the residence and
made the home ours by getting rid of 99% of the furnishings and items we had
from our former lives. In November, 2014, we held an 'open house' and had 70 of
our friends and neighbors over to celebrate with us. What a fun day!"
"Our time together is
spent during the school year with Cheryl working as an elementary school
teacher and me, retired from law enforcement, taking care of domestic duties
and volunteering.
"We both love to travel,
attend concerts, Los Angeles Angels baseball games, go to movies, work in our
garden, dine out, attend church activities/sing in the choir and get together
with friends.
"We're hopeful that in a
few years, Cheryl will retire and we'll have more time to travel and decide if
we want to relocate to somewhere less urban, either in Ventura County, San Luis
Obispo County. or maybe out-of-state like Prescott, AZ. In the meantime, life
is good in the OC and we're happy, healthy and content."
I asked Glen if there were any marriage plans in the future.
He said, "No marriage
plans in the works or contemplated at this time for either of us. Frankly, our
current arrangement seems to work just fine and we're extremely happy with our
situation. We both love to travel and spend much of the summer on the road. This
year it was two weeks driving through Denmark, Germany and the Netherlands (our
3rd trip to Europe driving). This is a picture of us in front of the Anne Frank
house in Amsterdam.
"On August 3, we leave for two weeks in
Colombia, South America, where we'll visit Bogota, Cartagena and Medellin. A
few years ago we spent two weeks driving through Panama and had a great time. We're
hoping Colombia is just as much fun (although we're not driving this time!).
How did I get Glen's story? My
partner Greta and I were standing under a tent to stay dry at the Orange County
Fair when a couple walked up and said, "Aren't you Tom Blake?"
They introduced themselves as
Cheryl and Glen; Glen said he had been reading my articles for years. They were
at the Fair to celebrate their 5-year anniversary and were looking forward to
seeing Willie Nelson, because they are country music fans.
Glen mentioned he had shared
his and Cheryl's story with me a few years back; I asked if he'd send me a
reminder. Goes to show when people get out and about interesting situations can
arise.
Four lessons for older singles arise from today's
story:
1
- From adversity in our lives comes opportunity, although at the time we may
not realize it. We must recognize that opportunity and do something about it. A
better situation may emerge months or years later
2
- Finding love after 50 can happen, but it's up to us to make it happen
3
- Long-distance relationships can work, but at least one person in the couple
must be willing to move if the couple wants to live together
4
- By getting out of the house and pursuing activities we enjoy, good things can
happen
Part 2
-Facebook group update
Our
closed Facebook group - Finding Love
After 50 - is up to 300 members and there are now 24 men. There are many
sage comments from the members. Heck, I am even learning from what is being
posted.
If
members feel they are being bombarded by too many emails, they may simply turn
off the chat option and then pick and choose the posts they want to read.
To
join the group, a person must send a request via the Facebook page and I will
approve your request. I have turned down some requests from people who in my
judgment are suspicious of their motives for joining. If you see anything
questionable, please email me immediately.
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