Picket Fence Media week of July 18 - 25
On Life and Love after 50
Column by Tom P Blake
Adversity
inspires San Clemente woman to write a book
The underlying message in my previous article--opportunity
often arises from adversity—struck a chord with several readers.
Karen,
San Clemente, who has had heavy adversity in her life,
emailed a response that inspired me.
She wrote, “Your last article focusing on opportunity and
adversity had an impact on me. I fit your over-50 profile.”
Karen married her college sweetheart the summer after they
graduated in 1976. They had two sons. She loved being a homemaker.
She said, “My husband Mike climbed the corporate ladder. Our
lifestyle got bigger and better. Then Mike was diagnosed with cancer at age 39
and was given 3-4 years to live. That was unacceptable to us. We'd heard about
bone marrow transplantation, and decided to go for it. So we swapped the death
sentence for a life sentence.
“Mike's goal was to help his young sons grow to manhood. He
lived for 18 years after the transplant. He lost the career, so we swapped
roles and I became the bread winner. Forget about feminism and the women's
movement; it was time for me to change gears and pay some bills.
“At age 56, I was widowed. I had two amazing sons, a promising
career, good health, and a tremendous desire to live my life to its fullest. I
took care of myself, attended support groups, and eventually found myself
leading them.
“After a few years, I had revved up the career, joined Match.com, gained two
beautiful daughters-in-law, changed careers, joined networking groups, sold the
house, and moved to the beach. I had two astounding grandbabies, traveled,
dated some wonderful men, retired, and got active in Toastmasters and Rotary. I
worked my body/mind 4-5 times per week, gave motivational speeches, joined Meetup.com,
and cherished some unbelievable friends.”
Karen said her friends often told her she should write a book.
But she balked, she felt people wouldn’t want to read about her sad story, even
though she had overcome adversity.
“And then,” Karen said, “my older son, Donovan, died of cancer
last summer at age 37. Adversity? I got it. Sometimes, I think I'm way
over-qualified in the adversity department.
"Your article, In
Life, Opportunity Often Arises from Adversity,
made me think, maybe I should write a book. Not only for myself, but for
others. I believe I have the passion and the ability to write. I was sitting in
sunlight when I started this message. Now I'm in the dark.
“I could use some advice. Have you ever thought about mentoring
someone?”
I responded to
Karen: “Yes, you are ‘over qualified’ in the adversity department. My
heart goes out to you, and your courage with what you have been through.
“Sometimes we don't see the opportunity that arises until time
has passed, and that is what is happening with you. It likely is time for you
to write your book.
“You have walked the walk, losing both your husband and son. You
are an expert on this topic. Writing can be cathartic and helpful to you and to
others who have faced adversity or are doing so now. Plus, you are energetic and
have a creative way with words.
“As far as mentoring you in writing, yes, I can help get you
started in the right direction.”
Karen said she will start writing; she already has a working
title for a book. She explained how that came about: “Last summer I was sitting
in the street at a small-town parade with my two-year-old grandson sitting in
my lap. He was SO darned
excited to see another vehicle
with flashing lights. Out of his beautiful mouth: ‘Nana, look at what's coming!’
Yep, that's the title: Look at What's
Coming.”
We look forward to Karen sharing her book with the world.
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