Senior Dating issues: Woman seeks clarity to Randy’s Mars and Venus comments from last week
by Tom P Blake
Doreen, “I have a question for Randy from last week’s Mars and Venus newsletter. Could he ask the ladies in his social groups some of the same questions he had asked his male social group members? Seems to be a lot of misunderstanding as far as the terms used between males and females interacting. Are we dating, wanting relationships or just hanging out?
“We ladies certainly have different definitions of each. Not all of us are looking for a ‘relationship’ and packing our bags to move in after the first few dates. Or wanting to be taken care of financially.
“Also I certainly don't expect to be put on the priority list above all else. Does the unstructured senior dating relationship Randy mentioned mean dating or just hanging out? Paying our own way, being picked up, etc? I know there seems to be a lot of assumed information on both parts even now at our ages. I guess we need to have a list of questions to ask before venturing out on the first meeting, on both sides.
“The bottom line is that both sides need to TALK to each other, and never assume anything! We are very different creatures and maybe more so in our more mature years.”
Tom Blake's comment: Doreen is right. Communication between men and women regarding what each expects from a relationship could help each understand what is going on. With that knowledge, each can make a decision whether the relationship is right for them or not. Is that asking too much? I don’t think so.
Also, from last week's newsletter, Champ Michael made a comment about meeting women:
Michael, “I think you are right, re: looking for ways to volunteer and meet new people in the process. A relationship will come if it's meant to be, and there's no need to rush it, so long as I have friends to connect with.
“I have been active in some meet-up groups, most notably, the OC (Orange County, California) Hiking Club, for which I have led hikes for five or six years now. Trouble is, I haven't garnered much friendship out of the group, but that might reflect my flaws in personality more than anything else, I suppose.”
Tom Blake's comment: Michael, if you want a relationship bad enough, you should be a little more assertive in talking to the women who participate in you hiking club. Making yourself more available would be a first good step. I am not talking about being aggressive, just more assertive. There is a difference.
Women aren't mind readers. You need to let women know if you would be interested in getting to know them. It's on your shoulders, not theirs.
Tom's other websites:
Tom's Victoria Station Restaurant Chain website
www.TravelAfter55.com - Tom's senior romantic travel site