Friday, April 1, 2016

Senior Dating Advice - Text Message Breakup

On life and love after 50 Newsletter                  March 25, 2016

By Tom P Blake
Senior dating advice -Text Message Breakup

We have a new Champ. She wasted no time saying what is on her mind. On the day she signed up for the newsletter, she wrote:
“I've been on a dating web site for many years. I am 59 and looking for a relationship. I was under the impression that mature men would act their age and not like they did in their younger dating years. I was wrong.
“I assumed being mature, kind, understanding, honest, etc., were traits that come with gaining wisdom thru the years.
“So far, the men I've dated on these sites are clueless as to being decent people deserving of a good lady in their lives, even though their profiles say they want to be in a relationship. I didn't realize that men in their late 50's and 60's can still be jerks.
“The last two men I dated for over a year. Both broke up with a text message, really?? What kind of an adult move is that?
“Also, there was no discussion as to why the relationships were over. These men were willing to just throw a year away of being in a relationship when maybe with a little tweaking things could have worked out.
“Time is slipping away so to think another relationship is right around the corner would be kidding myself. It's not easy to find someone we can get along with because we all are pretty much set in our ways and won’t change.
“Older men are still just as untrustworthy now, as they were in their younger years. I'm sad to say, a hard lesson to learn for me. So, just because you’re a grown up doesn't mean you will act like an adult.”
Tom responded with senior dating advice: You are not the first woman to feel this way. Not all men are like that. What site or sites were you on? How often did you date these men over the year you were with them?
Was there any indication that the relationships weren't going well? You are blaming the men for their behavior, but how about you? What might you have done differently? Were you too rigid in your ways?
No doubt, breaking up by text message is pretty lame. We’ll see what other Champs think.
Part 2 – Senior Dating Advice - Did you ICE your cell phones and wallets?

Last week’s article about the man who fell and hit his head on the concrete was tragic. But, it did a lot of good. Many Champs wrote about putting the word ICE(An acronym for In case of emergency) next to your emergency contacts on your cell phones and in your wallets.

Champ Doug wrote: “An EMT told me that once a person is stabilized after a serious injury, the cell phone is checked for ICE listings and the numbers are called. Fire and police agencies also do this. Goes for your wallet as well.”

Tom's comment: I ICED my cellphone and wallet, Champs. Have you?
Part 3 – There are good older singles in the world

Champ Army wrote: “Last week’s newsletter about the tragic incident reminded me of an incident from 15 years ago. A guy meant a woman at a dance, asked her out, went north boating on a first date, had a medical problem. When he came to in the hospital, she was by his hospital bed. Because of her dedication, he asked her to marry him. 15 years later, still happily married.”

Champ Andrew wrote: Re: “You comment from two weeks ago: ‘I have great respect for single moms—that has to be the toughest job in the world.” I respect her (the woman in the story) too, having been in a similar position of providing unaided support as a single parent to daughters and sub-teens through to adulthood and now happily settled with partners—meals, laundry, quality time at home and on outings, guidance with education, hobbies and social interactions, providing a safe environment for them and their friends, oh, and working in a demanding full-time job to keep them in a large, clean, comfortable home. But being a mere male, I shall gracefully accept second place in your eyes.”

Tom’s response to Andrew. You are totally correct; I should have written “single parents” and not just “single moms.” Single dads are admired also.

Champs Patricia and Len – A few months ago, we wrote about Champs Patricia and Len who met on 12 years ago. To refresh your memory, here is their picture:

                            Champs Pat and Len
They are featured this month in the six Pennsylvania newspapers I write for. To read the article go to:

Have a Happy Easter!
This newsletter, On life and love after 50, is the only newsletter Tom publishes. If you have friends who would like to receive it, they can sign up by going to the following website. It's a little confusing, because the website is Finding Love After 60. The newsletter is On life and love after 50, but this website is where you sign up for it:

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