Saturday, July 11, 2015

Documentary film maker seeks love

Documentary film maker seeks love - another romance scam?
by Tom P. Blake

Last week's romance scam newsletter caught the attention of several Champs. Several responded. A couple of the responses are featured today.

One of our Champs wrote, “I read your story about the women who have lost vast sums of money to scammers. I never have sent money to a scammer, but currently have a match on Eharmony who says he is a wild life documentary film maker from Rhode Island.

“He has posted a picture, a ‘favorite’ of his, with Jane Goodall. He only said ‘Jane’ but I recognized the image, maybe from a wax museum, of the Jane famous for her work with African wildlife.

“I may play along to see if he is for real. I’m not going to spend too much time and never will send money to someone I don’t know. I hope many people read this story and resist temptation to respond to these gold diggers.

“If you know of any good men in their 60s up my way, you know where I live (Wisconsin). I won’t ask them for money!”

In addition to never sending money to someone you don’t know; don’t send money to someone you do know, unless you don’t expect to receive it back.

She responded later: He also pictured himself with Madeline Albright. This picture looked like he was at a mall or somewhere outside. I'm surprised she would allow a picture to be taken and shared--guess I watch Madam Secretary too much. Ms. Albright hasn't been in a Cabinet position for a while but to think anyone could pull her aside and take a picture before she could react is scary. Or maybe he is, instead of being a name dropper, a 'picture dropper.'

"I've decided not to contact him at all to see if he tries to contact me. I've let him take too much of my time already."

Tom’s comment: Whether the man described as a documentary film maker is for real or not remains to be seen. If a romance develops, it would still be a long-distance relationship between Rhode Island and Wisconsin. But it is good that this Champ is aware that this probably is a scammer.

Another story as a result of last week’s column

Another Champ sent me her story this week. I had been familiar with this part of her story from years ago: She was a widow after a 31-year marriage and decided to move to the East Coast to jumpstart her life. She met a man on Catholic Match who lived near her new location. They met for coffee in 2005, got married six months later. As of 2009, four years later, everything seemed to be fine with the marriage. But here is what she wrote this week:

“I was basically scammed in my marriage and the unraveling and dissolving of it. I lost well over $150,000. I paid for more than 90 percent of everything during the marriage and probably closer to 95 percent. I lost nearly $100,000 on the house from when I bought it. (I bought it when values were inflated and sold it when values were low).

“Worse was when he admitted in writing that he was out to use me, and not seek work. He wrote that he was just along for the ride, just one of the many things he wrote in emails. Some of the things he wrote were so horrific it made me think I never knew the real person, just who he wanted me to think he was.

“He had a tremendous gift of gab and could feign a great personality, but that could only last so long, then reality and truth came to light. Only a few people saw most of the emails, my lawyer, the annulment board for my church and my friend and pastor at church who helped me through this…not even to family members could I show all the crap he wrote.

“He sent the annulment board a letter stating he was out to use me in whatever ways he could.

“On the somewhat brighter side, through walking my dog, I have met a friend. Our dogs became friends, so we started chatting while the dogs played. We are now friends, who get together out of convenience on the weekends for dinners and movie watching. Due to religious differences, and that we both had horrible last relationships, we may always stay as just friends. For now, that’s ok.”

Tom’s comment: It is hard to say what happened here. At the four year mark of the marriage, all seemed ok. However, they did marry rather quickly--six months isn’t very long to get to know somebody.

Sometimes, people feel safer or more comfortable dating people of their own religion. But, that does not guarantee happiness or success. Quite simply, we just have to know the person we are with as well as we can, regardless of religious beliefs. Some scoundrels use religious shields to hide their true self.

And speaking of later-in-life marriages, that topic has been discussed quite a bit on the Finding Love After 50 Facebook pages lately. In fact, a woman named Lee Ann posted this comment on Tuesday:

“I am 55 and in a domestic partnership. I found Tom’s writing when I became interested in dating and relationships for people my age. My interests include reading, acting, travel and I sing. I wish to marry and my partner does not. I have two grown sons and a dog I love named Ralphie.”

Both Gordon Grimm, a Champ in the Facebook group, and I responded to her comment about marriage. We suggested that no one is going to want to marry her while she is in a relationship.

And speaking of our Facebook group, we are up to almost 180 members in just three weeks. To join, follow this link

I will receive the request and approve you.

That’s it for day. Don’t send strangers any money, even if they say it is to finance the film they are making.

Oh, I'd love to hear what our Champs do for exercise to try to keep in shape.

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