Romance scam stopped in its tracks

On life and love after 50 newsletter

 

Tom P. Blake  -  Sept 21, 2015

Three months ago, at the request of several Champs--who wanted to correspond and exchange photos and stories with other like-minded Champs--we started a Finding Love After 50 Facebook group.

It is a friendship group, not a dating group, but people might still meet a potential mate there and that is great if it happens.

I decided to make it what Facebook calls a "closed" group, where I must approve of all members who want to join. In that way, I can screen people by checking their profiles to attempt to keep scammers and people with bad intentions out of the group and hopefully to help protect our Champs. 

While the membership has grown to 450, I've rejected more than 43 people from joining and removed a few members who made inappropriate posts.

Last week, one of our Champs, who lives in South Africa, and who has read my newsletter for years, emailed: "A good looking man joined our group last week. He contacted me immediately; we email every day. He says he is working in England and when he finishes there next week, he wants to visit me in my country and for me to be his woman."

I remember approving him; his profile revealed a handsome guy originally from England, now residing in Oklahoma; his Facebook page showed nothing suspicious. Ostensibly, his name was Chris Cornforth.

Our Champ added, "My concern: why so quick? He says we could live a few years here and then relocate back to Germany, where I'm from, or Oklahoma. I asked him how old he is, if he's divorced, or has kids, and what he's doing, and he doesn't respond to those questions. I've very worried."

I told her to be very careful, anybody who tries to rush a relationship after one week has ulterior motives. That is a red flag. And anyone who professes love within a short period of time, is blowing smoke as well.

When she emailed him that she was uncomfortable, he responded, exactly like this (notice his grammar, er, should I say, lack thereof). She forwarded his email to me: "...I Like going to Beach,swim,Dance,Write Poem,Dinner,Hanging around with Friends and going to church..I have been married twice my first wife died from fibroid Complications...

"...I had to get out of retirement to quickly see what I can do to get back on my feet luckily for me I got a contract from a construction company in africa and i am currently importing 4,000 tonns of 16mm Steelrods that will go to Benin...This is my last Job as i am finally planning to settle down with a woman i want to grow old with live a life of happiness and love together. I hope you are ready to be spoilt beyond measures.."

After reading his email, I wrote to her: "For a guy whose first language is English, this email is filled with grammar, capitalization and spelling mistakes. It was not written by an English-speaking person. Benin is a country in Africa next to Nigeria. He is a scammer; cut him off immediately.

She responded the next morning: "You are right. Fifteen minutes ago he came online and said he was robbed of all of his possessions--wallet, credit card, jewelry, etc. Then he asked for $400 to lend him and he will fly back to the USA to get money and then come straight to South Africa to be with me." She blocked him from further contact.

This is a typical Nigerian romance scam trick; I'm in a jam, send me money, and I'll pay you back very soon.

Everything romance scammers post is bogus. They search online (and not just on our Facebook page, but everywhere) for vulnerable people and try to exploit them. I removed him from our Finding Love After 50 Facebook group, grateful for our Champ's diligence, and certain that we had stopped a romance scammer. So even though I checked his profile, he still slipped through the fence and into our group.

When I posted this incident to the Facebook page, several of our women Champs said he tried to befriend them in that first week as well.

And while email, websites, and social media are wonderful and useful tools, we must realize that anyone can be anyone hidden behind the mask of communication. Stay diligent everybody, and email me the minute you see anything suspicious.  

Documentary film maker seeks love

Documentary film maker seeks love - another romance scam?

 

by Tom P. Blake

Last week's romance scam newsletter caught the attention of several Champs. Several responded. A couple of the responses are featured today.

One of our Champs wrote, “I read your story about the women who have lost vast sums of money to scammers. I never have sent money to a scammer, but currently have a match on Eharmony who says he is a wild life documentary film maker from Rhode Island.

“He has posted a picture, a ‘favorite’ of his, with Jane Goodall. He only said ‘Jane’ but I recognized the image, maybe from a wax museum, of the Jane famous for her work with African wildlife.

“I may play along to see if he is for real. I’m not going to spend too much time and never will send money to someone I don’t know. I hope many people read this story and resist temptation to respond to these gold diggers.

“If you know of any good men in their 60s up my way, you know where I live (Wisconsin). I won’t ask them for money!”

In addition to never sending money to someone you don’t know; don’t send money to someone you do know, unless you don’t expect to receive it back.

She responded later: He also pictured himself with Madeline Albright. This picture looked like he was at a mall or somewhere outside. I'm surprised she would allow a picture to be taken and shared--guess I watch Madam Secretary too much. Ms. Albright hasn't been in a Cabinet position for a while but to think anyone could pull her aside and take a picture before she could react is scary. Or maybe he is, instead of being a name dropper, a 'picture dropper.'

"I've decided not to contact him at all to see if he tries to contact me. I've let him take too much of my time already."

Tom’s comment: Whether the man described as a documentary film maker is for real or not remains to be seen. If a romance develops, it would still be a long-distance relationship between Rhode Island and Wisconsin. But it is good that this Champ is aware that this probably is a scammer.

Another story as a result of last week’s column

Another Champ sent me her story this week. I had been familiar with this part of her story from years ago: She was a widow after a 31-year marriage and decided to move to the East Coast to jumpstart her life. She met a man on Catholic Match who lived near her new location. They met for coffee in 2005, got married six months later. As of 2009, four years later, everything seemed to be fine with the marriage. But here is what she wrote this week:

“I was basically scammed in my marriage and the unraveling and dissolving of it. I lost well over $150,000. I paid for more than 90 percent of everything during the marriage and probably closer to 95 percent. I lost nearly $100,000 on the house from when I bought it. (I bought it when values were inflated and sold it when values were low).

“Worse was when he admitted in writing that he was out to use me, and not seek work. He wrote that he was just along for the ride, just one of the many things he wrote in emails. Some of the things he wrote were so horrific it made me think I never knew the real person, just who he wanted me to think he was.

“He had a tremendous gift of gab and could feign a great personality, but that could only last so long, then reality and truth came to light. Only a few people saw most of the emails, my lawyer, the annulment board for my church and my friend and pastor at church who helped me through this…not even to family members could I show all the crap he wrote.

“He sent the annulment board a letter stating he was out to use me in whatever ways he could.

“On the somewhat brighter side, through walking my dog, I have met a friend. Our dogs became friends, so we started chatting while the dogs played. We are now friends, who get together out of convenience on the weekends for dinners and movie watching. Due to religious differences, and that we both had horrible last relationships, we may always stay as just friends. For now, that’s ok.”

Tom’s comment: It is hard to say what happened here. At the four year mark of the marriage, all seemed ok. However, they did marry rather quickly--six months isn’t very long to get to know somebody.

Sometimes, people feel safer or more comfortable dating people of their own religion. But, that does not guarantee happiness or success. Quite simply, we just have to know the person we are with as well as we can, regardless of religious beliefs. Some scoundrels use religious shields to hide their true self.

And speaking of later-in-life marriages, that topic has been discussed quite a bit on the Finding Love After 50 Facebook pages lately. In fact, a woman named Lee Ann posted this comment on Tuesday:

“I am 55 and in a domestic partnership. I found Tom’s writing when I became interested in dating and relationships for people my age. My interests include reading, acting, travel and I sing. I wish to marry and my partner does not. I have two grown sons and a dog I love named Ralphie.”

Both Gordon Grimm, a Champ in the Facebook group, and I responded to her comment about marriage. We suggested that no one is going to want to marry her while she is in a relationship.

And speaking of our Facebook group, we are up to almost 180 members in just three weeks. To join, follow this link

I will receive the request and approve you.

That’s it for day. Don’t send strangers any money, even if they say it is to finance the film they are making.

Oh, I'd love to hear what our Champs do for exercise to try to keep in shape.

New romance scam targets American women

On Life and Love After 50. New romance scams target American women

Another scam email arrived in my inbox this week, sent from Ethan Armour, armoure14@hanover.edu. It read, “please did you get my previous message about you being a beneficiary to a late client?I will make provision for all relevant document needed and then we can both share the proceed . please reply to waikinchim@yahoo.com.hk”

A quick look at the grammar in this email reveals multiple mistakes; it’s obviously a scam, and a lame one at that.

As I am sure all of our savvy Champs would do, I marked the email as fraudulent and deleted it.

The same day, Champ George, of San Francisco, forwarded an Internet article he found on Yahoo.com, written by Stuart Grudgings, that was posted on Reuters, titled, “American women targeted as Malaysia becomes Internet scam haven: U.S.”

I know we’ve discussed romance scams before, but this one has a bit of a modern twist to it. I never want any of our Champs to fall for a scam, so I think it’s worth mentioning the subject again. Thanks to George for bringing it to my attention.

Grudgings’ article stated, “The mostly Nigerian conmen, who enter Malaysia on student visas, take advantage of the country’s good Internet infrastructure to prey on lonely, middle-aged women, wooing them on dating websites before swindling their savings.”

Grudgings said that scammers are, “…helped by Malaysia’s banking system allows perpetrators to quickly set up accounts and receive international transfers.”

The article indicated that two American women have lost $250,000 each in the past twelve months, which often amounts to a person’s entire life’s savings: “There are more than 600 cases a year, and the amount lost by each victim averages in the tens of thousands of dollars.”

How sad that these victims are so lonely and naïve that they allow themselves to be swindled.

How do these scams work? Grudgings’ article stated, “Large teams of scammers typically trawl dating or Christian websites and contact middle-aged women…They pretend to be a Western man who then gets into legal or business difficulties in Muslim-majority Malaysia.”

One of the victims in the article said she had met a man on Match.com. It should be pointed out that most American dating sites, including Match.com, have prominent warnings about scammers on their sites.

The more knowledge about scams—of any kind--that we Champs gain, the less our chances of becoming victims. Another email forwarded to me this week by Champ Chris has to do with a travel scam. Chris travels often to be with his woman friend in England. Many of you travel as well. The email stated:

“You check in at your hotel front desk. Typically when checking in, you give the front desk your credit card (for any charges to your room). You go to your room and settle in. All is good. 

“The hotel receives a call and the caller asks for (as an example) room 620 - which happens to be your room. The phone rings in your room. You answer and the person on the other end says the following: 'This is the front desk. We came across a problem with your charge card information. Please re-read me your credit card number, expiration date, and verify the security code on the reverse side of your card.’

“Not thinking anything wrong, since the call seems to come from the front desk, you oblige. But actually, it is a scam by someone calling from outside the hotel. They have asked for a random room number, then ask you for your credit card information. They sound so professional, you think you are talking to the front desk.

“If you encounter this scenario on your travels, tell the caller that you will be down to the front desk to clear up any problems. Then, go to the front desk or call directly and ask if there was a problem.

“If there was none, inform the manager of the hotel that someone tried to scam you of your credit card information, acting like a front desk employee.

“This was sent by someone who has been duped and is still cleaning up the mess.”

I hope today’s tips help. If any of you care to share your experiences with scams, email them to me.

Next week, back to the trials and tribulations of dating after—oh, just pick an age—50, 60, 70 or 80. By 90, you should be settled in.