Friday, February 5, 2016

Newsletter 2016 #6 Madam Secretary and Chemistry update

Madam Secretary and Chemistry update

On life and love after 50 newsletter

February 5, 2016

Tom P. Blake

Madam Secretary

Champ Mark emailed, “Do you watch “Madam Secretary” on CBS Sunday nights? A main story line in the latest episode (January 31) involved the swindling of an older man via an online dating site, and how that played a major part in his suicide. The writing in those scenes was taken from your columns, or so it seems.”

I told Mark that I did not watch that episode, but Greta did and told me about it. I answered, “Doubt if it was taken from my columns, but preventing romance scams from happening is one of our goals.”

After Mark’s question, I went online and watched it. In the episode, Madam Secretary’s husband’s father was the older man. He was lonely and went on a dating site. A scammer trolled the site and made contact with the man.

The scammer sent a picture ostensibly of herself, but it was taken from the Internet of an actress in Hollywood; the old man framed it and put the picture on his mantle. The scammer told the old man that she was too busy to meet him in person for the time being, but needed a loan. He gave it to the scammer, thinking he was helping the pretty woman who loved him.

When he discovered he’d been scammed, he committed suicide by taking an entire bottle of hydrocodone, a dangerous pain medication.

An investigation revealed that the scammer was the old man’s friend, a man who lived nearby. In the episode, that man scammer came to the house to give his condolences to the family. Later, the scammer was arrested.

The episode did not get into a lot of details about the scam. But, the messages were clear:

-Anybody can be anybody online. Do not trust anyone until you meet in person and get to know that person well

             - Do not send money to someone you’ve never met unless you don’t expect to get it back

·        - Don’t fall in love with an image

·        -Meet the person face-to-face as soon as possible

Thanks to Champ Mark for reminding me of that episode.

Chemistry update

You may recall that last October we ran two consecutive newsletters on the subject of chemistry. A male Champ shared with us that his girlfriend of four months told him she didn’t feel chemistry toward him.

The following week, we included 20 responses to his situation. Most Champs, but not all, felt he should move on. The feeling was, at his age, why waste a lot of time?

This week--3 ½ months later--he emailed an update: “Last night was our last date. I still don’t ‘light her fire’ and she doesn’t want me to waste my time on her and wants me to find someone who will fill my needs.”

He hopes she will change her mind. He added, “I just can’t erase my feelings for her and move on. I loved my girlfriend of three years in high school…I loved my wife for 50+ years and still do and always will…I also ‘loved’ this lady knowing full well where it could end.

“So, it will be awhile, if ever, before I try the dating scene again.” He is now 73.
But, is he really done with her? He added, “We have three more event tickets to the venue where we saw Travis Tritt last night and it’s likely we will go as friends.” So, he still keeps hanging on, although it was their last date (as boyfriend/girlfriend).

This is a nice man. I checked him out online and he has a successful business. I just hate to see him go through more pain by taking her to three more concerts. I wish he could take someone else to those events. His situation reminds me of words from Garth Brooks’ song, The Dance: I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance.

Not only is finding a compatible mate difficult after 70, but once you do, dating that person isn’t exactly a snap either.

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