50plus LIFE On Life and Love after 50 April 2016 edition

50plus LIFE - On Life and Love after 50 - April 2016 edition 

Senior Dating Advice: Importance of Making new friends      

by Tom P Blake

 Senior Dating Advice - Single mom nearing retirement wants to meet new friends

I have often stressed to older singles the importance of getting involved in activities and making new friends. This week, Lynda, one of our newest Champs, emailed asking for advice on how to do that.

Lynda said: “I was a single mom for 17 years and was very involved in my children's lives and their activities. I have had the same type of work for 32 years and have moved a lot due to a military way of life. When I was in my 20s and 30s, making friends happened without even thinking about it.

“Now, in my mid-50s, making friends seems to be tougher than I imagined. I have friends at work but most of them are married and have their own lives outside of work.

“Since I am approaching retirement, I'm trying to figure out what I can do to make friends and get involved in my community. I love animals and have two dogs of my own. I hope to someday find someone I can experience life with although I am very content being on my own with my dogs. I have thought about volunteering with Meals on Wheels and/or helping out with dog-rescue places. Any input would be appreciated.”

Tom’s senior dating advice: Making new friends now is wise. By doing so, you will already have friends when you retire.

Yes, making friends is more difficult compared to when we were younger. For women, having women friends is as important, if not more important, than having men friends. By pursuing activities you enjoy, making new friends will easily follow. You already seem to know what you want to do.

You love animals and have two dogs. You have thought about volunteering at an animal shelter. Go for it; you’re a natural. Two months ago, I rescued a dog named Samson and got to know the volunteers at the San Clemente/Dana Point (California) Animal Shelter. They all had one thing in common: they loved dogs and cats. In addition, they were wonderful people. You would immediately make friends at an animal shelter.  

Next, you mentioned volunteering for Meals on Wheels. That’s a great cause. I suggest you start doing that once or twice a week.

It is important to try new things, particularly after you stop working. After my life partner Greta retired, she became involved in tai chi, yoga and water aerobics classes. Through exercise, she has made many wonderful new friends.

If you need more ideas, check out www.Meetup.com, a free site that lists all kinds of clubs and activities across the USA that you can join. Pick a couple of activities that interest you and try them. 

One other point: You say you would like to meet a man with whom to experience life, but if that does not happen, you are content just spending time with your dogs. I think you can do both. Make time without the dogs to let a man into your life. Yes, you treasure your dogs, but don’t be so obsessed with them that you shut out potential mates.

The above paragraph is important for people wanting to meet a mate. Often, I see women and sometimes men who are so into their pets they post their pet’s photo on their timeline instead of their own. The message that is sent is loud and clear: my pets are everything to me. Don’t get me wrong, I love all animals. However, wouldn’t it be nice to have a mate in there somewhere and also have my pets?

Back to advice for Lynda. You have many positives in your life: You have worked in the same field for 32 years, which shows stability, dedication and loyalty—great traits to have. Not many people have worked in a job that long. In addition, you were a single mom for 17 years and that required a huge commitment. I have great respect for single moms—that has to be the toughest job in the world.

Pursue making new friends before retirement with the same energy you put forth into working and raising your children. You will accomplish your goal quickly.
Listed below are the newspapers in PA where this article is featured this month.
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50plus LIFE Lebanon PA April 2016 edition

50plus LIFE York PA April 2016 edition

50plus LIFE Lancaster PA April 2016 edition

50plus LIFE Cumberland PA April 2016 edition

50plus LIFE Chester PA April 2016 edition

50plus LIFE Dauphin PA April 2016 edition




 http://www.FindingLoveAfter60.com

http://www.FindingLoveAfter50.com

50plus LIFE - On Love and Life after 50 PA couple met online on biker website

Special for 50plus LIFE – On Love and Life after 50 March, 2016 issue

Pennsylvania couple met online years ago. Still going strong

By Tom P Blake

Nearly every Friday for 15 years, I’ve published and emailed a weekly newsletter called On Life and Love After 50. One of my long-time subscribers is Pat, who became a widow shortly after the newsletter started, and lived in Shickshinny, Pennsylvania.

In 2005, Pat, sent me an email saying she had met a wonderful man named Len on a website called BikerKiss.com. She wrote, “I had not heard of that website until a girlfriend, who had just bought a motorcycle, told me about it. I went on it as sort of a joke. Len is also from Pa., however, he lives 85 miles away. He is 61. I am 65.”

Pat stated that Len had not dated since his wife had died two years before and she had dated, but, “not very successfully,” in the three and a half years since she had lost her husband.  

“Why was he on BikerKiss.com?” I asked.

She said, “Although he’s not a biker type, he has a Honda motorcycle. After a few dates, we knew there was no turning back. Love is wonderful the second-time around. We are like two kids--holding hands, laughing, motorcycling, and enjoying the simple things.”

In 2009, I included Pat and Len’s story in “How 50 Couples Found Love After 50,” a book I wrote that revealed how 50 couples had met later in life, and to give hope to singles that finding a mate is possible.  Pat and Len’s story had two important lessons: long-distance relationships can work, and, when people venture out of their comfort zones, positive results can occur.

                     

To order How 50 Couples Found Love After 50 - check out the bookstore on the Finding Love After 60 website or email Tom for an autographed and personalized copy

From time to time, I follow up with the couples featured in the book to see how they are doing, and to get an update on their lives. Last month, I checked in with Pat and Len.

She wrote, “Len and I are still together, into our 12^th year now and still going strong. And we’re still riding. Since 2005, we’ve covered close to 175,000 miles across the USA and Canada. Len has the same model of bike, but there have been two bikes since the original.

“Our current bike is a very sweet ride with a custom-heated seat that makes long-distance riding comfortable, especially in those chilly temperatures that we hit in early spring and late fall in the higher elevations.

“Our life as a couple is one of great contentment; we spend a lot of time together but we also do things apart from each other. I’m busy with volunteering at our library. And, yoga takes up a few mornings each week. We both love music and go to many concerts; we have eclectic musical tastes so there is always something new and fun to listen to.”

Pat and Len live in Bethlehem Township in the Lehigh Valley, near Easton.  Pat mentioned that Len surprised her this past Christmas with an Alaska cruise for June, 2016. They spent 10 days there in 2007 on the motorcycle. They are looking forward to seeing Alaska from a different perspective.  

                            Pat and Len on a motorcycle trip to British Columbia

Pat said, “We are truly blessed. We found the right person at the right time and life is good. The most important thing to me as I have gotten older is having someone to laugh with and enjoy all of the crazy, silly things that life is made up of. Quirkiness is a good thing.”

Pat and Len found love where they least expected to find it, which often happens to older singles. They also met the challenges of a long-distance relationship.

And now, in their mid-70s, they are active, still on the bike and very much in love. And, BikerKiss.com is still operating.

If you see an older couple in the Lehigh Valley whiz by on a motorcycle, wave! It just might be Len and Pat, living the good life and happy they met nearly 13 years ago.

Note from Tom: To sign up for the complimentary On Life and Love After 50 e-newsletter, visit www.FindingLoveAfter60.com and click on join our newsletter.

For information on How 50 Couples Found Love After 50, visit Tom's bookstore at FindingLoveAfter 60. com or contact Tom by email (tompblake@gmail.com) or visit Amazon.com.  This article appeared in these 50plus LIFE newspapers in March, 2016:

50plus LIFE Lebanon PA March 2016 edition

50plus LIFE YORK PA March 2016 edition

50plus LIFE LANCASTER PA March 2016 edition

50plus LIFE CUMBERLAND PAT March 2016

50plus LIFE CHESTER PA March 2016 edition

50plus LIFE DAUPHIN PA March 2016 edition