Senior Relationship Challenges and Issues to overcome

On Life and Love After 50 Newsletter

by Thomas P. Blake      October 3, 2014

Senior relationship faces challenges. But not the kind you’d expect

On April 4, 2014, this newsletter featured Ruth, 70, who was moving from Wisconsin to Nebraska, to live with Gary, 68, although she had never met him in person. Ruth and Gary had spent a year and a half communicating by email and telephone getting to know one another. They found each other on Green Singles, a website for people who seek a “green, organic lifestyle,” which they both wanted.

In that newsletter, Ruth said, “I am moving to Nebraska because it fits my need to be in a dryer climate for my health. We both have similar health issues and are empathetic with that aspect of our relationship. I have so much to gain by doing this, much to lose if I stay in the rut I have been in. Gary and I agree that after all of this time, we will be happy if it turns out to be friendship only. At our ages, that is a huge blessing in life.”

Because Ruth and Gary had never met face-to-face, most of our Champs had doubts about the relationship working out. I sure did. Ruth promised to keep us updated.

On May 2, Ruth sent an email that included a photo of the two of them sitting on a hill in a pasture with this caption: “Beautiful day, sunny weather, and glad hearts to share.”  I thought, wow, so far, so good.

On August 13, Ruth sent another update, which indicated there were relationship issues to work out: “The relationship is good when we keep the lines of communication open...we have our ups and downs due to extremely hot weather and not taking enough time away just to relax and smell the roses.

“Tolerating each other's idiosyncrasies is the biggest challenge, and since we are together much of the time, irritations do come up, especially for me. I tend to thrive in a relationship where the emphasis is on the positive, giving each other positive feedback on how we do things, our strengths, etc. My friend can get rather negative if things aren't going well all the time and he may say something that hurts my feelings without even knowing he is doing it!

“That is where the communication comes in. We talk and usually get on a better footing after that; it tends to be a pattern for us. We are committed to making it work as a couple and are making plans for autumn and beyond. My family has been out to visit us and we had a wonderful time together. Likewise, I have met his sisters and one of his brothers and was nicely received.”

Two weeks ago, Ruth sent another update that revealed a major issue has arisen that is challenging the relationship. But, it’s not an issue one might suspect. Rather, Ruth has developed a health condition.

She wrote, “We are facing a huge challenge together, with my electro hypersensitivity (EMF, aka electromotive force). We will have to go to an “off-grid” lifestyle where we outfit the house with solar power (a huge expense that we don’t have the money for), or I will have to have a trailer bought in to use as a safe place to sleep, another big expense. Meanwhile, what can I do so that I can get sleep?”

Ruth said she had this radio-wave sickness caused by high frequency signals in Wisconsin due to all of the cell phone towers that emit radio frequency waves. However, she did not expect a similar issue in Nebraska.  But on August 8, the local electric company put a ‘smart meter’ on the electrical power pole for the house, which emits EMFs. In addition, they had a new, water well installed, which also has a high frequency system in it. Ruth says, “I literally have been set back two years.”

She added, “This is a love story that is filled with challenges right now, and our good natures and love are holding, but there are days when tempers flare—mine mostly due to never getting quality sleep and thus having constant head pressure and tinnitus from the meter and pump.”

Ruth said, “When we go for a trip or drive to the store (30 miles away), I have to sit in the back seat since the EMF levels are lower there. (Apparently, the car engine emits microwave radiation as well). You may have never heard of any of the things I am talking about, but let me assure you that there are thousands of people in this country who are experiencing the same nightmare from overexposure to EMF. There are websites devoted to this, e.g., www.electricalpollution.com.

“Will this relationship withstand these kinds of life-threatening challenges? Stay tuned.”

Tom’s comments: Can you imagine? A senior relationship being challenged because—of all the things that could happen--microwave radiation? A condition many of us may have never heard of.

I checked the above website and found this paragraph: “Studies document impacts on public health from microwave radiation, including: poor sleep quality, insomnia, headaches, tinnitus, skin rash, facial flushing, cardiac arrhythmia, seizures, neurological disorders, memory and cognitive problems, nausea, vomiting, poor appetite, and Autism, to name a few. Children are especially vulnerable to microwave radiation.”

It is quite frightening what can happen to people and birds due to these transmissions. When Ruth moved to Nebraska, she thought she had escaped microwave-radiation sickness, but now, it’s caught up to her again. What will be her next action?