by Thomas P. Blake October 10, 2014
The end of the Meet and Greets
For two and a half years, Tutor and Spunky’s, my Dana
Point, California, deli has sponsored a Meet and Greet on the last Thursday
night of each month for singles age 50-plus and beyond, in some cases far
beyond. People in their 90s have attended and one nice gentleman, Dave, at age
92, met his significant other there.
Attendance has varied to a high of 120 to a low of
about 20, which was the dismal number two weeks ago at the September Meet and
Greet. I think only four men attended. The average attendance was usually
45-50.
As far as I can determine, about 15 couples have formed
as a result of meeting there. It’s hard to get an exact count because what
happens is once a couple gets together, they don’t return. One guy I saw in the
Post Office who had attended a few times said he didn’t attend anymore because
his new main squeeze didn’t want him to be socializing with other women.
At every Meet and Greet, the women always outnumbered
the men by at least two-to-one, but at times by four or five-to-one. There was
one exception. Four months ago, the men outnumbered the women by more than
two-to-one. I knew something strange was brewing that night when the first nine
people to arrive were men.
I mentioned that phenomenon in my local newspaper
article. At the next gathering, new women poured through the door while the men
recoiled so we ended up having a lopsided women-to-men ratio. That may have
been the beginning of the end.
It is a fact of life that women always outnumber men at
singles functions for people ages 50, 60, 70 and 80. Most women accept that
fact but there are others who don’t understand. At each event, we usually have
a break in the action when new people can come to the microphone and introduce
themselves. I recall when a woman took the microphone and instead of saying
something like, “Hi, I’m Susie, I live in Dana Point and have been a widow for
five years,” she said, “Where are all of the decent men?”
I quickly took the microphone from her and suggested
she needed to have a more positive attitude. She stomped out and later emailed
me that she had never been so humiliated in her life. She never came back.
This week, I received an email from Jean, who attended
the September Meet and Greet. Jean wrote, “I wanted to comment on something
said to a group of women at a table with one of the men. Dick said that there
were at least 10 men he knew of who were staying home because the women
clustered together, dressed for one another and came to hear each other, while
the men came to meet ladies. I told Dick that I attend to hear male
conversation but have never met anyone I have been smitten with. I simply think
the gals are dressed up anyway and make the best of an evening visiting with
one another sitting in groups. I personally attend alone but have been joined
by a female in the past.”
I emailed back to her that the guy Dick she commented
about usually sat with three or four of his buddies and barely ever
acknowledged a woman. So there you have it.
One new woman who attended September’s event came in and
wanted me to turn the TV on to the MLB (Major League Baseball) Network so she
could watch Derek Jeter’s last game in Yankee Stadium. I apologized for not
subscribing to the MLB. She disappeared in an instant, perhaps making her way
across the parking lot to the sports bar where the 20 to 30 year old crowd
hangs out.
Our October Meet and Greet will be the last one, at
least until next spring. In ending two and a half years of Meet and Greets, I
can’t get a song out of my mind that The Highwaymen sang (Johnny Cash, Willie
Nelson, Kris Kristoffersen, and Waylon Jennings), titled, “This is the Last
Cowboy Song.”
This is the last cowboy song:
The end of a hundred year waltz.
The voices sound sad as they're singin' along.
Another piece of America's lost.
The end of a hundred year waltz.
The voices sound sad as they're singin' along.
Another piece of America's lost.
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