When Internet dating doesn't work, try other options

On Life and Love After 60 Newsletter

Tom Blake                             Jan 19, 2015

Senior dating: When Internet dating doesn’t work, try other options

Each New Year, most older singles evaluate their single status. Many contact me in January for advice.

This week, Susan, emailed: “What is the best dating site for over 60? I’m having a lot of trouble finding one for women like me who are young at heart, look much younger than their age and are very active. I have kept myself in good shape, but all of the men that could be my counterpart want younger women. What is a woman to do?”

I responded, “Often, I hear from women who have the same complaint. Internet dating does not work for everyone. Perhaps try things other than the Internet.”

Susan said, “I'm 72 and I think I'm maybe just too old now to play the game. I was a real head turner in my day and now get a glance now and then. My friends do not know of anyone. There is one man I fell pretty hard for about 15 years ago, maybe I should look him up.

I responded, “Yes, look him up. If that doesn’t work, simply say, ‘Next!’ Keep your eyes and ears open. Don’t give up, you are never too old. Reach out, help people, even volunteer. The main thing is to be out among new people.”

Susan said, “I do volunteer and work out at a gym four-five times a week. I did meet someone there, but after a couple of dates, which I enjoyed, he told me he was married. My luck, as they say. I don’t click with a lot of men and I could be dating a lot, but I want to feel magic again and that is why I am still holding out. I have not felt magic in the last 15 years.”

I responded, “Working out is great. It’s so important to keep the body moving. OK, so you found out he was married. At least you gave it a go until you found that out. More importantly, you ended the relationship, married guys are off limits. They need to get things taken care of at home before they start messing around.

“As far as looking for the magic you felt 15 years ago, nearly all singles would like to find that, but is that realistic? It probably won’t happen. But, being with a kind, considerate person, to whom you might be somewhat attracted, is the modern-day magic for singles 60-plus.

“Keep your spirit up, and be thankful for what you have. You are on the right path. Perhaps find a couple of women friends to pal around with. You will meet some men along the way.”

One suggestion for Susan and other south Orange County singles would be to attend the singles age 50+ Meet and Greet at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, located in Dana Point, California, on the last Thursday of each month. After a two-month hiatus during the holidays, the next event is Thursday, January 29, 2015 from 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. There is no cost.

Over the past two and a half years, approximately 15 couples have formed, having met at those events.

Upcoming Events

·         Thursday, January 29, 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m., Age 50+ singles Meet and Greet, Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, Dana Point, 949 248-9008, for questions, no cost

·         Sunday, February 15. 2:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., Sunday at the Bookstore, San Juan Capistrano Library, Local Author lecture series, featuring romance writers. Tom Blake will be discussing senior dating, his newspaper column and his dating and relationship books.