Showing posts with label Dana Point. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dana Point. Show all posts

Monday, February 2, 2015

Fahim Fazli - Actor appears in "American Sniper"

On Life and Love After 50                      

January 26, 2015

Fahim Fazli – a remarkable Dana Point resident

There are lots of interesting people who live in the tri-city area. As a columnist, I am fortunate to meet many of them.

In early January, I was having coffee with friends at J.C. Beans Coffee House on PCH in Dana Point. They introduced me to their neighbor, Fahim, a regular customer there. Even though Fahim has lived in Dana Point for 28 years, I had never met him.

When I asked Fahim what type of work he was in, he modestly said, “I am an author and an actor.”

As writers, we had much in common. He signed a copy of his 2012, memoir, “Fahim Speaks,” and handed it to me. I said, “It will be fun to learn about you.” He smiled. We promised to stay in touch.

While reading each page of Fahim Speaks, I became more and more fascinated with this man’s life. As a young boy growing up in Kabul, Afghanistan, Fahim sometimes skipped school and went to the movies. His dream was to become an actor in Hollywood.

In September, 1983, Fahim’s father came home one day and said to Fahim and his brother, “Pack your bag, we are leaving immediately.” The Communist secret police, who occupied Afghanistan, were about to arrest his father. If that happened, Fahim and his brother would have been sent to an “indoctrination” camp in Russia.

Fahim’s mother, two younger sisters and older brother had escaped four years earlier. Fahim guessed they had made it to America, but his family had not heard from them.

The goal was to make it to Pakistan, and then, somehow, some day, get to the United States. Fahim’s book takes readers on that perilous and dangerous journey.

The three family members made it safely to Pakistan, crossing the border by horseback over a freezing mountain pass. They applied with the American Embassy to go to America. After a four year wait, one day they were summoned to the American Embassy. His mother and siblings had been located in Virginia. The family was reunited by telephone. Fahim said to his mother, “We are on our way to join you in America.” He was 18.

After living in Virginia, the family moved to California. The book explains how Fahim eventually moved to Orange County and took acting classes, hoping to fulfill his childhood dream. He became a U.S. citizen.

In 1996, Fahim met Amy, his future wife, at Las Brisas in Laguna Beach.  A year later, they moved to an apartment in Dana Point. He was working for Nordstrom’s and at a mortgage company, and was getting movie work as an extra.

While on vacation, he proposed to Amy on a ferry boat crossing the Straits of Gibraltar from Tangier to Spain. They married in Orange County. Three years later, they were blessed with a daughter Sophia, who now attends Dana Hills High School.

Fahim and I got together last week. What struck me the most about him is his love of this country, and his positive attitude. He said, “In this beautiful country, everything is possible. If you love what you do, it will happen.”

He told me has appeared in 60 movies and television shows, including Rambo III, Charlie Wilson’s War, Iron Man, and now, “American Sniper.”

He said, “I have been interviewed by the New York Times, Washington Post, network television, magazines and have been on numerous talk shows. Your newspaper is the first media outlet in Orange County to interview me.”

Fahim was so grateful for the opportunity to live in America, he wanted to give back to his adopted country and at the same time help his native country. He signed up to be an interpreter for the Marines and returned to Afghanistan in 2009 and 2010.

He returned again in 2014. But when his agent called to say that he had a role in the Clint Eastwood movie, “American Sniper,” he resigned his position and returned to Dana Point.

There is much to learn about Fahim’s life by reading his book and visiting his website. He said, “Fahim Speaks is now a screenplay, a mandatory step to becoming a movie. We are just waiting for financing.”

He has also completed his second book, which will be published soon.

Fahim said, “I’ve learned from my experiences to be optimistic and forward-looking. I told myself. What’s done is done. Things happen for reasons which will make sense later, if we have faith and hope. Don’t dwell on the past. Think about possibilities.”


When the movie about Fahim’s life is made, we will have a movie star living in Dana Point.


                                                               Fahim Fazli with his book

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

When Internet dating doesn't work, try other options

On Life and Love After 60 Newsletter

Tom Blake                             Jan 19, 2015

Senior dating: When Internet dating doesn’t work, try other options

Each New Year, most older singles evaluate their single status. Many contact me in January for advice.

This week, Susan, emailed: “What is the best dating site for over 60? I’m having a lot of trouble finding one for women like me who are young at heart, look much younger than their age and are very active. I have kept myself in good shape, but all of the men that could be my counterpart want younger women. What is a woman to do?”

I responded, “Often, I hear from women who have the same complaint. Internet dating does not work for everyone. Perhaps try things other than the Internet.”
Susan said, “I'm 72 and I think I'm maybe just too old now to play the game. I was a real head turner in my day and now get a glance now and then. My friends do not know of anyone. There is one man I fell pretty hard for about 15 years ago, maybe I should look him up.

I responded, “Yes, look him up. If that doesn’t work, simply say, ‘Next!’ Keep your eyes and ears open. Don’t give up, you are never too old. Reach out, help people, even volunteer. The main thing is to be out among new people.”

Susan said, “I do volunteer and work out at a gym four-five times a week. I did meet someone there, but after a couple of dates, which I enjoyed, he told me he was married. My luck, as they say. I don’t click with a lot of men and I could be dating a lot, but I want to feel magic again and that is why I am still holding out. I have not felt magic in the last 15 years.”

I responded, “Working out is great. It’s so important to keep the body moving. OK, so you found out he was married. At least you gave it a go until you found that out. More importantly, you ended the relationship, married guys are off limits. They need to get things taken care of at home before they start messing around.

“As far as looking for the magic you felt 15 years ago, nearly all singles would like to find that, but is that realistic? It probably won’t happen. But, being with a kind, considerate person, to whom you might be somewhat attracted, is the modern-day magic for singles 60-plus.

“Keep your spirit up, and be thankful for what you have. You are on the right path. Perhaps find a couple of women friends to pal around with. You will meet some men along the way.”

One suggestion for Susan and other south Orange County singles would be to attend the singles age 50+ Meet and Greet at Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, located in Dana Point, California, on the last Thursday of each month. After a two-month hiatus during the holidays, the next event is Thursday, January 29, 2015 from 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. There is no cost.

Over the past two and a half years, approximately 15 couples have formed, having met at those events.

Upcoming Events

·         Thursday, January 29, 5 p.m. to 7:30 p.m., Age 50+ singles Meet and Greet, Tutor and Spunky’s Deli, Dana Point, 949 248-9008, for questions, no cost


·         Sunday, February 15. 2:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m., Sunday at the Bookstore, San Juan Capistrano Library, Local Author lecture series, featuring romance writers. Tom Blake will be discussing senior dating, his newspaper column and his dating and relationship books.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

The roller coaster of love after 50

On life and love after 50: The roller coaster of love after 50

In June, 2014, I spoke to a lovely couple (Mary and Dan, not their real names) in my Dana Point, California, deli who said they had started dating about 10 months before. They were in love and thrilled that they had found each other.

Dan was divorced after a 40-year marriage and Mary had been mostly alone for 20 years but attending lots of group and Meetup.com activities. Mary said, “I had met some nice men, but never the one. I was usually OK going it alone; I had great family and friends for support.”

I asked Mary and Dan to send me an email describing how they had met so I could share their information with other age 50-plus singles.  In the email that Mary sent, she concluded: “Our life together just flows. It’s as if we have a significant history together already. We are standing on solid ground. Dan fits perfectly into my life and he feels the same about me.” They were so happy that Dan had moved in with Mary.

She added, “The moral of the story: there may be a slim chance to meet someone if you put yourself out there, but there’s no chance at all unless you put yourself out there.”

On July 17, Mary sent an update about the relationship. Dan’s ex-wife had moved from the East Coast and was living in his home. He was renting it to her at a deeply discounted price. Mary said Dan felt sorry for her because she had fallen on hard financial times. Mary was not happy that the ex-wife had re-entered his life, although not romantically. “We would have never gone through this if she had stayed on the east coast,” Mary said.

Mary and Dan discussed the situation and worked it out. She said, “Both of us realize what we would be missing if we walked away…or let her break us up.”

On July 25, Mary sent an email that shocked me, “I’m lucky this relationship only lasted 10 months. He is looking to rent a room until next June when his ex-wife would leave, and he suggested we could just date until then. When I said that wasn’t going to work for me, he got aggravated and said it would be best if we never saw each other again. I went through three days of wailing and literally had no sleep, read three books, lost three pounds, and then I went to anger that kept me from feeling so sad.”

Mary said she was going to attend the Meet and Greet gathering at my Dana Point, California, deli on July 31 to meet some new people.

On August 21, she emailed, “Coming to your Meet and Greet gathering led me to meet two really great people and their input led me back to communicating with Dan, a trip to a male family/marriage therapist and discovering what I was really upset about in the relationship. Dan and I have gotten the situation settled to satisfy the both of us, so we are again living together and I think stronger for the experience.

“Maybe we needed a dose of real life to test our mettle. My kids and grand-kids are very happy to. Dan is the only man I dated who truly became a part of the family. I will let you know what is happening at the end of another year.”

Tom’s thoughts. After Mary’s story, I felt like I had just been riding the Big Dipper roller coaster at the Boardwalk Amusement Park in Santa Cruz. I guess if there is a lesson to take away from Mary’s story it’s this:

If you are in a relationship with a good person and you both love each other, for gosh sakes, try working out the issues via communication and counseling should issues surface that are driving a wedge between you and your partner. It’s so hard at our age to find a compatible mate, finding a compromise is so much better than walking away from something great.


Enjoy your Labor Day 2014 week-end.