Friday, June 26, 2015

Making friends via our Facebook Finding Love after 50 group

Making friends via our  Finding Love after 50 Facebook page
by Tom P. Blake

Two weeks ago, we re-activated a Facebook Finding Love After 50 group.

When I asked Champs if they preferred an open, closed, or private group, most voted for closed, where people could see the page, but not read member posts unless they joined the group. To join, I have to approve the member requests. In this way, we improve our chances of keeping people who don't belong out of the group. As of yesterday, we are up to 63 members, six were men.

One woman initially thought if we changed the name of our group to "Finding Love after 50 & 60," more men over age 60 might sign up. But then she changed her mind.

She said, "I now realize that the members are of all different ages and my concern was not valid. I can't thank you enough for reopening the "Finding Love After 50" FB website. Because of this I've been given the opportunity of meeting and getting to know some wonderful people with the same commonality as me which would not have happened otherwise!"

Even though only a few men have joined the group, their posts reflect intelligence and caring. We all can learn from them and the experiences they've had in their lives.

This week, George, from Traverse City, Michigan, posted, "If anyone is considering going on-line or is having very little response to their postings, they should take a hard look at their profile and what it says or does not say. No or little response usually means it is not working.

"In my professional life I worked as an employment specialist and during that time, I worked with hundreds of clients to develop more than 3500 resumes/cover letters, letters of applications, vitas, scholarship application letters and much more.

"I was fortunate to have many hours of training from innovative and talented writers. All emphasized that the sole purpose of an application, or in our case a profile, was to get the reader to respond in a positive manner. No response or rejection indicates your profile is not working because that is the only thing the reader sees about you.

"Once you put your information in your profile, it is there to market or sell who you are and what you are looking for. Make it high-quality, fun, and interesting. Is that not what we are all looking for in a prospective companion or partner?

"The best of responses I have read always leave me with a smile on my face, comfort in responding, and reasonable confidence that the person is genuine, intelligent, and sincere.

"It may seem intrusive to some, but I also researched people that responded. It is amazing what you can find about a person in this modern digital age. Google your own name and city and see what is out there. Also be careful it is the person you are looking for and not another with the same name.

"More times than not, it is good information. After searching my name I see things going back 10 years and activities I was involved in at the college I work for, plus some newspaper articles that mentioned me including family deaths and births. If you are concerned about anyone looking at your information on line…use an alias.

"On-line dating can be very good if you do it effectively and safely. One more thing from this guy; be honest and don’t put your H.S. graduation picture on your profile or your pet's picture. LOL."

We have another man, Art, from Florida, in our Facebook group. He is in a relationship, but has also shared valuable information about how he finally found the woman who is a perfect match for him.

So, even though we'd like to have more guys participate--and we will as time goes on--the ones we have are valuable contributors. Our group is not a dating group, but a friend-finding group. I am going to mention it in my newspaper columns so that should give us a membership boost.

And while we are speaking of single men, a quick update on Larry, the widower from Texas. I am very proud of him. He has established friendships with a few of our Champs, and is getting away from the ranch some and meeting new people. He is on his way to opening up his life.

Part 2 - A word of caution about online dating

In his last paragraph above, George reminded us to be safe in our online dating. He is right. A few months ago I received an email from a public relations firm representing a company called North Star Integrity, that does background searches. The press release quoted the FBI.

"The FBI claims that 'the most common targets (of scammers) are women over 40, who are divorced, widowed, and/or disabled, but every age group and demographic is at risk.

And then the Founder and CEO of North Star Integrity, Stephen Dorr, said, "Online dating fraud is a very real threat and can happen to anyone. The sheer number of scammers has risen dramatically over the past few years. Some may lead their victim on for months or even years to build trust, or they may strike immediately. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to determine who you can and cannot trust."
I only mention this about online dating as a reminder to be careful. That doesn't mean you avoid online dating, just be careful.

When you think about it, our Finding Love After 50 Facebook group is a heck of a lot safer than the big online dating companies. We all will be watching each other's backs and having fun sharing stories with each other.

No comments:

Post a Comment